VirgoGurami Member Profile

...See more Hi, My boyfriend of two years agreed to take a break while studying and having our finals in school (we're 18 and 19), since we had a huge fight because I said I wasn't happy, which was stupid because it wasn't because of him and I failed to explain that to him. So, on the evening of that we agreed to have a break for an unknown period of time. Our break started on a Sunday and we began talking again Thursday, and Friday we went out to do stuff together, and agreed to stay with each other. But then the day after our anniversary(this last Thursday, which means we've been back for a week), I'm playing games on his phone(which I am/I was allowed to by him) and then I accidentally tap on a new message from our mutual friend, and when I open up Messenger, I see this new girl's name popping up... I click it and read through it all. Apparently it's his best friend's best girl friend (my boyfriend goes to the gym with his friend, her and her friend), which I would've been cool with if I had known that they talked, BUT, he had always talked shit about those girls, so I figured he didn't talk or like them at all. But I could read (which is wrong, I know) that HE was the one who texted her first and played those stupid Messenger games with her, letting her win (on purpose, he says that himself)... And then he 'wins' her snapchat... And she knows he has a girlfriend, but he told her in the beginning that we had issues, so I guess she didn't pay much thought of it.... So the thing is, they snap a lot back and forth, but he hasn't told me, even though we came back together (and I trusted him enough to not go through his phone on my own). So I call him out immediately when I have read it all, cry and curse him out for emotionally cheating on me, which it is, right? He immediately tells me that I don't have anything to worry about, since she has a boyfriend. Turns out that was a lie. Because Friday Night, about 12 hours later, he calls me after work because we needed to work stuff out, and he told me that he had lied on the spot to make it easier for me to believe they were just friends. We had a huge fight during this call (I was home and he had just gotten off of work and refused to let me pick him up), and I give him the ultimatum: "Spend New Years Eve with her, whom I don't trust him around, or stay with me." And we never reached a conclusion, so I hung up. Two hours later my friend texts me that she has found him in a club, piss drunk and with a bunch of unknown girls. My other friend goes to find him as well, and he just runs off and grabs a cab to go home (we don't live together). Without answering my calls or texts, he blocks me everywhere except for on the phone... And the morning after I have to call his MOM, so that I can come and get my shit from his house. And when I get there he doesn't even come out himself. He made HER give me my things. She told me she'd talk to him later and message me afterwards. So hours pass and I'm at my good friend's house and still no text from her, so I message her first. Apparently they talked, he said he hadn't done anything but be friends with her (even though my friend swears she saw him having his arm around a girl). I asked her to ask him if we were through. We were. I'm heartbroken. So now, Sunday, while I'm at work he texts me saying that he was sorry for wasting two years of my life with him. He told me that I had made him happy and that he wanted to thank me for that. He told me to move on and that I deserve the best... And being as dumb as I am, I kept texting, because I felt angry and sad. During our text conversation, he kept saying: "I made my choice. I've already said what I wanted to say. I told you the truth. I don't want to do this anymore and that's my choice. I gave you a last chance last time, so sorry, I made my choice." When I kept asking him why we couldn't talk in person, why we had to end our 2-year relationship through phone, but he kept saying that stuff... I asked him if he actually did do something with her and he swore he didn't do anything and that I should trust him on that one. And then he stopped replying. And now I'm just hurt and confused and don't know what to do... We have all of our classes together and are going on a field trip with the school an entire month, very soon, so I'll have to see him every day. And I just think that'll break my heart, since he said that we should move on to separate paths, which I agree with him on, and I'm trying to see this from his point of view. We never really had any discussions in our relationship prior to this. He told me he'd always been afraid to confront me, because I have a bad temper and have made a fool out of him one or two times in front of his friends, so he was afraid that if he told me anything, I'd be upset and threaten to break up with him, no matter what. But truth is... If he had talked to me about that girl first, this wouldn't have happened. I would've been jealous and asked him to stop talking to her outside of their friend group, but there's that. Is that too much to ask? I feel that he feels like I've been smothering him, so it's probably best to break up. While I'm writing this, that's what I'm thinking as well... But if he really is honest, I just want him to forgive me. But he really broke my trust, and we definitely both need time away from each other, to clear our minds and figure out what to do. I don't wanna give up on him already, because we know everything about each other. He's been there through my parents' divorce, through his grandma dying... And I don't think I'll ever connect with someone like that again. We were quite honestly soulmates. I gave him space with his friends, and he gave me space with mine. We could nerd about stuff together and with him I could do whatever I never could before. He set me free and helped me through everything. So I definitely don't want to lose him. My theory is that he's just hurt and maybe intrigued by another new, exciting person, which I have been as well, but cut it off and told him about it, and that we should just have some time off before making any rushed decisions. I know I've been in the wrong for being so aggressively, trying to make him talk to me, but I just want to know if he's not rushing it as well? I mean, we've always been happy and strong. And I wanted to go to counselling with him, since the first time he told me he wasn't happy as well, but now all of this has happened and I think we're both too hurt and confused to think straight. What is your advise, guys? Should I really just cut it off or try to talk to him in person when school starts again on the 3rd?

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