WINDLESS37 Member Profile

...See more Hello everyone, I usually don't like to ask for help and I still can't ask for help in real life,but I guess I can't take it anymore I want to fix myself,everyday my anxiety increasing day by day. I quit my degree 4 months ago ,I was feeling low esteem at that time, and I haven't said a single word for 4 months. Sometimes I can't able to speak,sometimes I don't want to speak because of people judging, also I sometimes don't able to say what I want to say and people think I have ego or I am arrogant that's why I don't talk to anyone. For the past 4 months, I have been experiencing fear of separation, and I am afraid that I lost my people. Some of my friends online ghosted me or disappeared because of some reason that's hurting me now. Also, I have lost some of my family members in these periods, so it triggers more. Now ,anytime this type of thoughts come in my mind, like everyone will lose me one day ,I will be alone ,I don't know what life is without my parents, it's not something new that I am experiencing this fear I felt in my childhood too but now it's too much to handle sometimes my I feel pain in my heart and chest. After quiting my degree ,I become too lazy now I usually use my phone to communicate with my online friends, that's only way of communication I have for now,and sometimes I use it for playing games and watching anime or listening music,also I have been writing a novel but I work on it frequently. I am a very sensitive, weak,coward type of person. My personality type is INFJ,probably I am probably an unhealthy one. I went to a psychologist 2 days ago but that doesn't go well. I can't able to tell any problems to the doctor,I forget what to say there. I may have some good qualities but I usually don't talk about that because of my self guilt and I don’t like myself that much.Mostly I say I live for others,if they happy me happy ,if they sad me sad,probably I am type of person who can even help his enemy if they are suffering ,I know it's not a good thing to do but that's how I built. I want to heal myself and be a healthy person so I can earn and help my family, people , country and this whole world ,one of my friend provide me some links and suggest me to watch inside out but I can't watch those link and that movie for now because I will remember her again, anyways what I want to know is if anyone understood my problems and willing to provide me some solutions I will be grateful to them.I hope nobody else gone through this. Thank you for reading .

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