WallSunFlower03 Member Profile

...See more Hi guys, this is my first post on 7Cups but I'm in need of some answers, so please bear with me, sorry if it's a tad long... So very long story short, I have dealt with a lot of emotional, psychological, and some physical abuse at the hands of my narcissistic father throughout my childhood. In my very early childhood he was very physically and emotionally absent because he tended to work overseas a lot and just didn't care about me and my siblings or my mom when he was home. But when I was a pre-teen he started working closer to home but this is when the abuse and bullying started to become a LOT worse. For as long as I can remember, I have been terrified of him, emotionally and physically. He doesn't handle anger very well at all and his mood can change on a dime, he'd go from content to passive aggressive to raging out in a matter of minutes over absolutely nothing. I also have been struggling with severe treatment-resistant depression, general anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and maybe (still undiagnosed) CPTSD and BPD. I realized that lately, even now (I'm about to turn 22 this month) I have a hard time forming any meaningful friendships and I have no interest in romantic relationships at all. And the few friendships I've been able to make they tend to ignore my boundaries and walk all over me because I'm definitely a people pleaser, or leave because I'm too much of an inconvenience for them... I only have 1 close friend, and even she doesn't talk to me much (we live 3 hours apart so we mostly just text but she also has a lot of childhood trauma). I'm extremely closed off and introverted, and I've just been wondering if it's maybe because of my childhood trauma. Can trauma even affect your personality like that? Does anyone relate or have any thoughts?

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