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Warmheartedcoconut27
108 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2019 Member sinceOctober 3, 2019
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Spouse Looking for Support/Validation
Addiction Support / by Warmheartedcoconut27
Last post
November 7th, 2019
...See more Hi all, My husband has had a problem with cocaine and alcohol for the last 10+ years. I knew this going into our marriage, but when we got married he had been clean for 2 years. Over the summer, he relapsed after being clean for 2.5 years, and after 3 months of using told me. He only uses when he has been drinking, and he only drinks when he hangs out with his friends, though he does not do coke with his friends. This happens usually 1-2 times per week, but sometimes up to 4. Each time he comes home high he tells me and we talk about it. He is aware that drinking is a trigger for him, and that his friends trigger the drinking. He doesnt feel he can tell his friends about the problem, and doesnt feel they would be willing to stop drinking if he did (they would downplay it and say - yeah but its not a problem!). He expresses that he does not get pleasure out of doing it anymore, but cannot stop and recognizes that he needs outside help, but isnt ready to take that step yet. He is very scared of the health ramifications of having this problem for 10+ years. He has stated before that he wishes his addiction caused a personality change (him to become angry or mean, etc.) because maybe then it would be enough to stop, because him dying isnt. Im really happy he was able to tell me and is still open and communicative about it, and he recently told one of his friends which Im really proud of. Any advice on how to cope while hes still not ready to seek help?
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Advice on letting things go?
Anxiety Support / by Warmheartedcoconut27
Last post
October 18th, 2019
...See more Hi guys, This is my first time posting here and Im super nervous. But here we go! Ive struggled with anxiety my entire life and have been on/off medication regularly (off right now). Generally Im pretty good at coping, and am able to live a (semi) normal life. Ive been married for just over a year and have a great, supportive partner. However - anytime he gets upset/mad with me, I literally cannot cope. This morning, he got upset with me because he feels that Im not communicative about what is going on in my life and feels like hes being excluded. Valid, and I apologized and told him that I would be better moving forward, but he seems to want to be left alone and isnt answering my texts right now. I am truly losing my mind - can not concentrate on work, heart is pounding, hands are shaking, its all I can think about. This happens every time we fight. Any coping skills for when someone else is mad at you?? Any one else experience this?
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