WarriorWoman19 Member Profile

...See more Hi all, I am new to this community and so far have had a mostly positive experience with the listeners that I've had the opportunity to connect with. I am struggling to process and grapple with a shocking and devastating end to my relationship. My partner has completely abandoned me & this reality that I'm living has made so many of my deepest fears & insecurities surface. I am anxiously attached, while he is avoidant (I know...) and we are also from differing cultural backgrounds. We had a beautiful relationship & he really is the first partner I've had in my life that I envisioned a future and family with. I have been more vulnerable with him than with anyone else in the past & really made an intentional effort to show up as the best version of myself, and now it seems like it still wasn't enough. He has completely emotionally withdrawn and detached, so much so that he has completely ignored me & any attempts to connect for over 3 weeks now. This started as he slowly began drifting away a few months ago when we really started facing conflict, and has now resulted in absolute silence. I have been in utter distress and have reached out to him to confront him and get answers more times than I would like to admit... and nothing. He is certainly aware of how much I am suffering and still chooses that I am not even worth any acknowledgement or explanation. I have just started a new job and am in the process of relocating so I am feeling really overwhelmed with it all. I feel so lost because when I started embarking on this journey, he was by my side supporting me and we were planning for this future, and now that all of it is coming into fruition, none of it feels as sweet without him here to share it with me. I am frustrated with myself because I recognize that I handed over so much of my power to someone who I now know is capable of discarding me as though I never existed. Some days are harder than others, but I am doing my best to keep it together & keep pushing forward. It's exhausting for me to show up at work and around family/friends and wear this mask so that I don't appear weak. I just don't feel like anyone will understand what I'm going through or why I can't just move on as he seemingly has. I've lost 10 pounds. I can't sleep because my heart beats out of my chest at night. I've cry at the all of the slightest reminders of him. I feel like I'm being haunted and questioning my sanity about if anything that I experienced in our love was ever real or true. I just can't make sense of how someone can be the most empathetic, thoughtful, selfless and kindhearted man and then suddenly flip and jump ship at the first sign that a relationship is being tested and will require some work. I've made so many excuses for him and tried to justify his behavior in his absence and I just can't do it anymore, but I don't know how to accept that he obviously doesn't love me anymore. I don't know how to let go.

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