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Werewolf500602
684 M Little Steps
PathStep 61 Compassion hearts42 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceJanuary 25, 2021
Bio

Hi  I'm just your average human, this includes having family issues, being closeted, and being part of the LGBTQ+ community.      

I'm chill with any pronouns :)




Recent forum posts
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What should I do?
Trauma Support / by Werewolf500602
Last post
 March 10th, 2024
...See more Hey, i’ve been struggling with this for a long time, so I wanted to get more opinions about it. Before I say anything, I’d like your full, honest opinions. please. so I’ll give you a bit of a run down. I don’t get along with my dad well, he’s a bit of a narcissist. And when I was younger he would hit me, and my siblings. Along with our dogs, whenever we “misbehaved” or said something he didn’t like. My mom is an angel, but i think she was too scared to say anything whenever he got in one of his moods. I don’t blame her for that though, she tried. Anyway, moving forward, into my teenage years, I was pretty reserved, and socially awkward. I never cried in front of anyone, I didn’t share anything, even with my mom or sisters. I got fiercely overprotective of our family dog, brutus, who used to get beat up by my dad a lot when I was younger. And even threatened to call the police on my dad once, when I was really angry. But getting to the point now, Im 16, and i recently met an adult, who i have a sneaking suspicion has been through a similar situation to me. And sometimes she’ll ask me the usual question “how are you?” You know, the basic stuff, but I can tell she genuinely cares, and isn’t just asking because it’s “mandatory“ to ask that. And i Sometimes catch myself wanting to tell her, that im not okay, that I need a hug. That I want someone to know how I feel. Because in my family, I’m the ”happy go lucky” kid. Everyone knows how defensive i get with my dad, but other then that, they think I’m a super happy chill kid. Which I understand why they think that, since that’s how I present myself to them. But I feel like she sees through that, and I get happy, because I feel like she’s someone who could actually understand how I feel. But here is my “predicament” whenever I think about telling her, I start calling myself an attention seeker, and I know it doesn’t make sense, but then I call myself an attention seeker for calling myself an attention seeker. I know that doesn’t really make sense, but that’s what happens. Whenever I’m with her, I feel super safe, and comfortable, like I really could trust her with my feelings. And whenever she gives me a hug, or just physical contact, I actually enjoy it, unlike with my parents, whenever they touch me, I feel disgusted, uncomfortable, and claustrophobic. And sometimes it’s so bad I literally feel nauseous. I’m okay with touching my sisters, just not for too long. But with her I feel a sense of familiarity, and I just don’t know how to feel about it. I know none of my sisters get along with my dad, so I’m not the only one. but at the same time, I feel like Im almost overreacting..? Like sure all my emotions feel real, but at the same time it’s not like he beat me up or anything, he’d just slap us a bit. But it was mostly yelling, and just him getting angry I think that scared me the most as a kid, and still kind of does now. Even though I’m mentally stronger, and don’t get as scared as I did before, whenever I stand up to him, i start shaking, and my breathe gets shuddery. he hasn’t hit me in probably 3 years, but he’s threatened it. and I know now that I’m writing it, from an outside perspective, it probably doesn’t make sense that I call myself an attention seeker. But sometimes I genuinely believe that. Whenever I get the feeling that I want to tell someone how I feel, or what I’ve been through, I tell myself that. and in that moment I believe it so much, that I feel disgusted with myself. i just don’t know what to think or do anymore. I want to tell someone so bad, but Im scared it’ll backfire somehow, or that I’m over exaggerating, and this isn’t as bad as I’m making it out to be. I know it was a lot, but thank you so much for reading, even if you don’t reply, or even if you don’t know what to say. Thank you. Just writing this down, and venting, makes me feel relieved. Any comments are welcome. I’d really like some advice, and you don’t have to address everything, if you just want to comment about one thing, that’s still plenty, thank you again for reading!
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What may seem like a small goal can be a huge accomplishment.
Motivation & Accountability / by Werewolf500602
Last post
 February 14th, 2023
...See more What is a goal you would like to accomplish this week? It can be anything, from doing homework everyday, to doing something you enjoy, or maybe just going for relaxing walk, or reading a book?
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