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Xander28
601 M Embraced 5
PathStep 45 Compassion hearts41 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceAugust 10, 2023
Bio

Hi, I'm Xander. I've never been on this platform before so right now I'm just lurking. I really hope I can help someone here in the future.

A few informations about me:


- 29

- Non-binary (any pronouns), bi/pan

- BPD, MDD and I struggle with Insomnia. I've been through substance abuse as well. Possible NPD traits.

- I speak 3 languages (Slovak, Hungarian and English)

- I have a ferret (my pfp)


That's all I can share for now. Sending hugs to those who need it 💗

Recent forum posts
Xander28 profile picture
BPD with NPD traits?
Personality Disorders Support / by Xander28
Last post
 May 21st, 2024
...See more Hi all. I've known that I've had BPD since I was 21. I'm now 29. I mostly identify with being a Petulant Borderline, but lately I've been deep diving into the possibility that I also could share some NPD traits. Up until recently I haven't realized how much I relate to some of the symptoms of NPD. For example, since I've been promoted at work (I felt this way before, but never thought it could be narcissism) I do feel a sense of entitlement, feel like I'm better than my subordinates. I often fantasize about taking my boss's job because I think I could do a better job than her. When there's an issue, I often tell people how much I do for them but not getting anything in return, like I want them to see me as a good person, which I feel like I'm not. I take criticism hardly and I don't like being questioned. In my mind it's just pure chaos. I do feel some empathy, but only when it's a topic that I've personally been through. If I haven't been through something but someone else is telling me their story, I can't relate at all. I only noticed these behaviours of mine, thoughts, thanks to *** and a bunch of research that I could have some NPD traits. However I haven't really found a credible article and it's hard to get therapy in my country, mostly because mental health is rarely discussed here and the options are also limited. I know I need professional help to figure this out. But how many of you here on this platform have both? Thanks.
Xander28 profile picture
Emptiness and lack of sense of self
Personality Disorders Support / by Xander28
Last post
 August 12th, 2023
...See more BPD here. Lately I've been struggling with emptiness. It feels like a damn void. I don't think I've felt a genuine emotion for the past 2 weeks. It's draining me. I also feel like I don't know who I am outside of my job. Like I'm in a really good position in my company but I can only say what I'm regarding to my job, not what I really am like. I don't even know tbh. Today at work I had a meeting and we had to introduce ourselves and seeing how everyone easily told about themselves made me a bit angry. Like sure I talked about my position but that's it. Everyone else was throwing in some personal stuff as well. I know damn well that it triggered me and I needed a few minutes after that. But even when the anger passed I felt absolutely nothing. So right know this is what I struggle with. I don't really have anyone to talk to because no one around me has BPD (I'm also diagnosed with MDD) so I'm completely alone (maybe sometimes at my own fault for isolating myself). Anyways, I thought maybe some of you relate to this and maybe could give me some encouragement? Thank you all for reading this and if you reply, thank you as well.
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