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adamshkurov
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PathStep 2 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceMay 16, 2024
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Can't get myself to function and need a second opinion
Depression Support / by adamshkurov
Last post
 May 23rd, 2024
...See more Hello everybody. Pls excuse any potential errors, English isn't my first language. As the title says, I (male, 21yo) haven't been able to function lately, for about 5-6 months. By functioning I mean keeping up with my studies at uni and having a consistent schedule, and enjoying it. I feel fatigued and burnt out, and I've been spending more and more time on the internet binging series and disney movies. Meanwhile I have a lot of things snowballing that I can't bring myself to do, and I feel really anxious about it. Attending classes has been more difficult as well. I desperately want to "take it easy" and take a rest, but no amount of time feels enough for a rest, and I don't know what rest could even mean for me since I'm already neglecting responsibilities and don't do much. I've always been pretty unhappy with life, never been able to maintain a hobby, and never had much in my life besides studying, an occasional drink with a friend and the internet. And although I'm interested in what I study and have some achievements in science (like publishing an article about a month ago and partaking in a scientific conference, dk how I managed that), this state I'm now in isn't the norm for me at all. Sounds obviously like depression, I agree, and I'm getting psychological counsel, which I actually kinda enjoy. Yet I'm also wondering if I should get actual medication, but my counselor seems to think that my state can be managed by getting rid of negative thinking patterns (like putting my studies and other responsibilities above all else), by learning not to be so hard on myself etc. She says I tend to constantly depreciate myself, my desires and achievements, therefore I don't live up to my values and therefore can't enjoy or bring myself to do anything, since all my energy is spent elsewhere, and if I learn to value myself over my responsibilities and achievements and allow myself to be authentic, the depression will go away. What I struggle with is that I feel like I need to get myself together RIGHT NOW and stop allowing everything to snowball, but talking therapy takes a lot of time, and I've been getting it only for 2 months and I don't experience any change yet, although going there feels good and actually meaningful. I'm also not a fan of self-improvement stuff like meditation etc, since it typically never helped me enough and I couldn't keep it up, and I don't feel the energy to make substantial lifestyle changes that could alleviate the symptoms. So I wonder if all that is worth it. I'd like to hear an advice from someone who's had a similar experience, who needed to get themselves together quickly but was unsure what to do. I also need to know, from your experience, what a conventional talking therapy can help with and how effective it can be. Maybe I really should just go to a psychiatrist, get a diagnosis and medication... I don't really trust my country's universal mental health care tho.
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