adaptableOwl4482 Member Profile

...See more I met my boyfriend through Tinder. Went on my first date ever with him. On our second meeting, we had sex. I lost my virginity. ( he did not ask me first, it just kind of happened, which I was upset about) Within a few weeks he told me he loved me, and I told it back to him. He is my first boyfriend and I wasn’t sure what love was, but I was always happy when being with him. He is a foreigner in my country and after a while he told me he’d go back to his country 2 months later. ( he had known this all along but never told me, which also upset me) So we met every week, often spending the weekends at his apartment. I had never been so happy before. So when he left we did long distance. I helped him find a new apartment and basically did all the work, finding an apartment, doing calls, reading the contract etc. ( I offered to, since he doesn’t speak my language) he talked about us moving in together at this point. 2 months later he came back to live here, I helped him move, paid half of the moving fees, gave him all the furniture I had in our attic that was being saved until I moved out from my family’s home. Which means 80% of the stuff at his apartment is mine. ( but I offered it ) The problem is that I am a student and he has a full time job. I pay more than half of our expenses, meaning I bought the bed, pay half the groceries, pay half the money when eating out, often offering to pay for stuff to be nice, giving him gifts etc. I understand wanting to save money, but I am a student and still manage. Honestly there was a lot of red flags that I ignored and now I am second guessing our relationship. He is really nice and care about me. But we also fought a lot for hours at a time, he showed an aggressive side yelling and throwing stuff. I told him I would go home if he kept doing that, so he told me to go, but I still stayed. It seems like I am really pathetic or can’t see my own worth. Lately I’ve been feeling more confident in my body, in myself, and I can see that I need to do what is best for me. The problem is that we moved too fast, he already met my family and is going on holiday with us this summer. I feel that I love him, he always makes me smile and I want to give him my everything. Maybe it is just the fact that I am young, I haven’t experienced enough, haven’t tried being on my own, and being with an older guy means having to do things faster. I want kids, and to be married but not anytime soon.... i feel like it is the right person at the wrong time. Or perhaps Since he is my first boyfriend, I don’t know what a good boyfriend is, and don’t know if it can actually be better than this or not. I can 100% be myself in front of him. Bonus info: sex isn’t great, but he does his best. But somehow it also affects me, always being left unsatisfied when he is always satisfied. ( this is a worldwide issue for women tho, not just me)

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