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affableOcean9747
1 55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceJuly 12, 2022
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Dysfunctional relationship with my sister
Family & Caregivers / by affableOcean9747
Last post
 August 2nd, 2022
...See more My sister and I have always had a turbulent relationship. We have a large age gap (she is about 8 years older). When I was a child she barely spoke to me, and we only started having a relationship when I was a teenager. I never really had the normal big sister experience, because mine just seemed to resent me. Over the years some of her toxic traits have started to show. For instance, saying bad things about me to my father, making her spouse believe that my mother cares for me more than her, and being jealous about the things that my parents do for me, although we all know they've done more for her. She has an entitled attitude with them, and will ignore them (and me) if we hurt her feelings. Regardless of how she's been, when I knew I was getting married I told her about it and told her the dates a year in advance. Because of the pandemic, nothing was certain and we only printed invitations a month before the date. When she got hers, she was furious she didn't hear about it earlier. And said we should have told her about it while planning the wedding. I didn't see how that was necessary, as she never offered any help or asked me anything about the wedding the whole year. She kicked up a fuss with my parents and said she wouldn't come for the wedding. She eventually did show up but didn't talk to me or look at me, and it's been 7 months since then and she still hasn't congratulated me or talked to me at all. I know in her head she believes she's been wronged, and she's not one to apologise to others because she always thinks she's the victim. And as much as I know I'm not in the wrong, I still feel sad. My parents haven't said a thing to her about how she behaved or how she's been treating me. I don't expect them to. They are afraid of how she will react and that she will cut them out of her life. It does upset me, because I know if the tables were turned they would express their disappointment in me and make it clear that I did something wrong. They still talk to me about her and she's still been causing them drama. After all of this, I finally decided to cut my sister out of my life. She brings more drama than happiness, and if she can't be happy for me then I really don't need this relationship. But at the same time, I am wondering if I need to say something to her or confront her for what she did. I know if I do, she will only look at it from her perspective and not admit to any wrong doing. So I'm conflicted and I'm wondering if I made the right decision to cut her out.
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