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agreeableField5575
104 M Embraced 1
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceApril 6, 2022
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I don't know what to do
Relationship Stress / by agreeableField5575
Last post
 April 11th, 2022
...See more I have been dating my current boyfriend for a year now and I love him a lot, he makes me so happy and I feel safe when I am with him. This is the man I want to marry with, I know that for sure. To give you context on my problem: I broke up with my ex some time before me and my boyfriend got together and even though it was my first relationship it was terrible. We dated for two years and he was really toxic. I felt anxious constantly and I turned to self harm to deal with the feelings I had. He didn't respect me when I said I didn't want to do something, not only s*xually but with everything else as well. Since then I can't do certain things in bed cause I get awfully anxious. Anyway, yeasterday when I was with my boyfriend, we we're having s*x (i was blindfolded) and at some point my ex crossed my mind cause I remembered how he used to touch me. I felt so anxious and disgusted. I didn't want to think of him and I also didnt want to ruin the moment with my boyfriend so I just removed my blindfold so I could look at him and have some reassurance that I was with my actual boyfriend and not my ex. I think I should talk with my boyfriend about this but I'm scared he'll misunderstand that I have feelings for my ex or something, which is a dumb thing for me to think cause this was the man that helped me through the anxiety attacks I got over my ex so he bettter than anyone knows how I feel about my ex. I just dont know. I dont understand why my ex came to mind at that moment but I haven't stopped feeling anxious since then.
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