agreeableTree5152 Member Profile

...See more Hi. I've been dating my bf for 3 years. I believed I was in the safest and warmest relationship for majority of it. I recently found out that he has an ongoing porn addiction. At first, I tried to be supportive to help him recover, but he relapses often and hides it from me. I only find out through snooping, and that makes me feel icky and insecure about our relationship. It felt like everything went downhill so fast. I started feeling concern about how I look and our moments of intimacy. I thought it might help me manage coping by thinking that he only watches porn stars who do this for a living, but I found out that he saves videos and pictures of people on social media, and that really stung. I worry that him doing this might be a building block for cheating with other people, and I am really scared and anxious. My last relationship ended because of cheating, and I don't want to go through that again. Sometimes, I feel like he isn't putting effort into fixing our relationship. I don't want to be materialistic, but he even failed to give me a gift for our anniversary and doesn't invite me on dates anymore, unless I'm paying. I keep telling him that I don't need him to spend money on me, just put in the effort. I worry that he is starting to detach and porn is filling that void for him already. I love my bf, but the pain I feel from his repeated action is immense. I want to help him get through this, but it is really taking a toll on me.

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