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ahava4
2 534 M Embraced 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts59 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes34 Current upvotes34 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 16, 2023
Bio

Greetings!  Last five years have been the most difficult and yet also the most healing.  Enjoying my second chance at life.  Looking forward to figuring out how to navigate next chapter.

Recent forum posts
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Attachments and intimacy
Relationship Stress / by ahava4
Last post
 May 7th, 2025
...See more It took me 50 years....but I finally recognized and began recovery towards co-depency/anxious attachments.  Was able to begin a relationship as I continued my recovery, but starting to get impression that my partner is deeply affected by fearful attachments.  The past traumas, the significant people in her life leaving, etc... I am 100% committed to the relationship and will fight to the end (though I have had some very deep weak moments) but looking for help. 1.  When my boundaries are crossed (particularly, accusational words/tone in midst of anger).  My impulse is to stop conversation (or leave the space) until the mood calms down.  This has only aggravated it.  So not sure if I am not protecting my boundaries out of fear of conflict, or if I need to look for more effective ways. 2.  I have a very strong sexual drive (started recovery recently to try to work on what ways it is out of balance and/or affecting my relationships).  During these seasons of fearful attachment (pushing me away out of fear that I might leave), the intimacy/touch is withheld.  I have tried every way I know of to communicate how deeply dark this is for me...but here I am.   Grateful just to be able to share, but also ready to listen.
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Looking for perspectives outside my blind spots
Relationship Stress / by ahava4
Last post
 March 9th, 2023
...See more Thank you for stopping by. After a few years of feeling "crazy" and defeated, I finally was able to put together a lot of the puzzle this weekend and see that I am in a controlling relationship. Of course, I have plenty of my own stuff to keep working on, but I really don't know where to go next. I believe my partner is controlling subconsciously and I believe they want to get healthier but not sure the wisest approach in the meantime.
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Excited to explore
Relationship Stress / by ahava4
Last post
 January 17th, 2023
...See more Greetings! Didn't want my first post to be my whole life story :) but looking forward to getting involved and gaining support at same time.
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