Attachments and intimacy

It took me 50 years....but I finally recognized and began recovery towards co-depency/anxious attachments. 

Was able to begin a relationship as I continued my recovery, but starting to get impression that my partner is deeply affected by fearful attachments.  The past traumas, the significant people in her life leaving, etc...

I am 100% committed to the relationship and will fight to the end (though I have had some very deep weak moments) but looking for help.

1.  When my boundaries are crossed (particularly, accusational words/tone in midst of anger).  My impulse is to stop conversation (or leave the space) until the mood calms down.  This has only aggravated it.  So not sure if I am not protecting my boundaries out of fear of conflict, or if I need to look for more effective ways.

2.  I have a very strong sexual drive (started recovery recently to try to work on what ways it is out of balance and/or affecting my relationships).  During these seasons of fearful attachment (pushing me away out of fear that I might leave), the intimacy/touch is withheld.  I have tried every way I know of to communicate how deeply dark this is for me...but here I am.  

Grateful just to be able to share, but also ready to listen.