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akay06
8,467 M Moving Along 9
PathStep 1,262 Compassion hearts324 Forum posts286 Forum upvotes460 Current upvotes460 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceJune 23, 2020
Recent forum posts
Feeling like I can’t get ahead
General Support / by akay06
Last post
 June 26th, 2023
...See more I feel like my anxiety has completely turned my life upside down for the last decade. I used to have friends and want to go out. Now, I just want to be left alone. People terrify me. All I keep having is extremely bad experiences with them. I don’t know how to even do positive talk when I don’t have a lot of examples of good people or supportive people in my life. I feel like my anxiety constantly gets dismissed or I’m told I can control it. I can’t. I feel like it’s now caused depression and now I’m scared that I’m slowly developing agoraphobia. How can I raise two smart, socialized little girls if I develop full blown agoraphobia. Now I feel like a failure as a mom.
Just want to give up and never leave my house
Anxiety Support / by akay06
Last post
 January 8th, 2023
...See more My anxiety has been so debilitating lately. I cannot even go on a walk without a panic attack. I don’t want to see people I don’t know. It seems like the only thing I can do is take my child to the playground and stay away from the other parents. I don’t mean to come off as rude but it seems I cannot even hold a conversation right now without even hyperventilating. I just want to give up…
Hopeless
Anxiety Support / by akay06
Last post
 October 22nd, 2022
...See more I was rapped and beaten almost ten years ago by my boss which led to a hospitalization and emergency surgery that left me completely broken. I married now and dealt with infertility due to that incident and worked so hard to have my little miracle. Why can I not heal? Why is therapy not working? Why did I have a panic attack in front of my child while on a walk and a man jogging behind me just left me crippled on the sidewalk. What’s wrong with me? Why am I so messed up? I’m so lucky. My husband lets me stay home because since this happened, I have not been able to hold down a job. I’m so lucky to even be able to have my beautiful daughter after all of this, but I feel so stuck. I feel broken and damaged.
Will People With Anxiety Ever Get Peace?
Anxiety Support / by akay06
Last post
 July 12th, 2022
...See more Will people with anxiety ever get peace? I’m tired. I’m so tired. My mind never stops. It seems I’ll never get my mind to stop telling me the worst will always happen. I can never enjoy the moment or the rewards of my hard work. I bought my first home this year and instead of enjoying it, I’m up all night with nightmares and jumping at the smallest sound outside. Does it ever stop? Does it ever get better? My anxiety and panic attacks are due to a rape and hospitalization that happened 8 years ago. I’ve never been able to get on with my life. I want these nightmares and horrible thoughts to just go away so I can enjoy the life I built and worked so hard for. I want to be able to hold down a job for more than a few years. I want to be able to go to the grocery store or fly without a panic attack due to being near people. I just want this anxiety to go away.
Flash Backs and Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by akay06
Last post
 September 29th, 2021
...See more I am really not doing ok right now. My anxiety stems from a workplace rape and absue situtation that put me in the hospital with physical issues for an entire week. There were a lot of red flags that something like this would happen from workplace bullying, gender discrimination, men co-workers discussing how they would tie up a woman to rape her. I reported all of it and my supervisor just kept saying that I would ruin their career and that it's how men joke. He kept calling it locker room talk. That locker room talk turned into a beating session and then rape for me a year later by the same co-workers that were bullying and harrashing me. They even followed me home one night and kept calling me at odd hours during the night. I didn't want to live for a long time after that, but I went to therapy and got better. It took forever to get over. This happened 10 years ago. I left that job and never looked back. I now run from jobs when I see any sort of bullying or harrashment because I am so scared that it will all happen again. I wish I could not work, but then how would I survive? I mainly take remote only jobs now to avoid that situation all together. Well I started working for a small business remotely doing what I love in July. There are so few of us and I for the first time ever didn't encounter any bullying until a new environmental legal advisor came into the picture. I cannot sleep or eat and I am pregnant because his absue is so similar to what happened before. I am keeping a record and reporting it to my supervisor, but he won't fire him. He calls and absues me at 3:00am and sends texts telling me how useless I am on Sundays evenings. I have to work right now, but I feel so hopeless and scared because of how this man is talking to me. It is disgusting and he has threatened me now for reporting it. I know I work remotely, but I am shaking even now with just how similar the situtations are. My flash backs right now are horrible and I have no idea what to do. My husband wants me to quit, but with this baby coming there is no way we could afford it. I am so terrified.
Can’t get out of my head at work
Anxiety Support / by akay06
Last post
 August 26th, 2021
...See more Anxiety affects my work so much. I feel like I almost have imposter syndrome as well. I don’t believe it when they say my work is good and I beat myself up more than anyone else ever could when my work isn’t up to par. I hate when someone calls or emails me. I hate socializing all together. My most peaceful days are the days when I don’t have to see anyone but my husband and my dog. I can’t work that way though… I wish I could
Anyone Else Get Annoyed When People Completely Generalize Anxiety?
Anxiety Support / by akay06
Last post
 July 7th, 2021
...See more I have social anxiety so my anxiety is about being in big groups or around a ton of people I don’t know to the point of needing a table near the exit and breaks to deal with my panic attacks when I go to crowded restaurants. However, my anxiety does not keep me locked up in my house all day. I love to travel to remote places, go hiking, kayaking, etc because it is usually just me and nature. It helps treat my anxiety. I can handle small groups of people I don’t know especially if my husband is there, but I cannot handle big groups. I don’t travel with big groups though and I just stick to outdoor activities. My anxiety comes from a very violent rape that let my hospitalized and needing emergency surgery. So as you can imagine my anxiety also deals with doctors a bit too. Well, I am pregnant after trying for a year! I hate my OB. She needed my medical history which includes all of this. She completely generalizes anxiety and has said well how do you travel if you have anxiety? How do you leave the house? To be quite honest, I’m speechless that anyone who works in a medical setting could have so little knowledge of anxiety. Have any of you encountered people that just completely generalize it?
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