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alexandria90
1 199 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceJuly 9, 2021
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Leaving a relationship and move back home
Relationship Stress / by alexandria90
Last post
 August 25th, 2021
...See more My current boyfriend and I have been dating since January of 2018. We live together currently as well. I live on the east coast and my family is back home in the west. I had moved to the east coast because my ex husband was in the military, this was back in 2012. After my divorce I stayed here because I had a great community of friends, a decent job, and I was in my last year of my college program and doing my internship. I met my boyfriend when I had a full year left of college. We got to know each other, and had a great time. At the time I thought I could stay here and this could work out for me. But over the last 2.5 years of the 3.5 year relationship, things have been concerning of me with some toxic traits he has and non-consideration he has. The number one problem is he has always made an excuse for us not to go and see my family for the holidays (I have not been with them for the holidays for 10 years). I have been afraid to go myself because at the begining of our relationship I did take a trip to see my parents and close friends back home and he had a very hard time being seperated from me to the point where I felt I needed to attend his emotional needs during my trip and could not fully enjoy myself. I have not left to go by myself. He makes his family more important than mine to always spend the holidays with them which has hurt me inside. I miss my family dearly and I would like to be able to see my family at anytime. I think about things that are important to me and what I would like such as being able to live within driving range of family. It can be hard to take time off and split between his family and mine since I have to fly so far and I don't have much vacation in the first place. His family goes on many vacations during the year and tons of family events. I do adore them, don't get me wrong, but I miss my family and my parents are only getting older and I think about regretitng not being able to spend more time with them. I think I am headed down a different path now. I know he doesn't want to move away from his family and I wouldn't want to take him away from his anyways but I don't think I can compromise to see my family only once a year since this will be the 4th holiday season that we have to spend it with his family. He has not even made any effort to make it so we visit my family not even once a year. Now I am to a point over the excuses he gives me. It is not his fault I am so far from my family but he seems to have no interest in his actions to invest in my world. I feel I only live in his world. Is it a bad thing to leave someone you are with to go back and be with your family?
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