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alexis9
308 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2016 Member sinceApril 3, 2016
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Sexual Assault PTSD? *TRIGGER WARNING*
Trauma Support / by alexis9
Last post
 March 16th, 2017
...See more I was molested when I was 7 bymy stepbrother. It has been over 12 years now and I still haven't gotten over it. My family knows about it and everything, but I have anxiety and some (what I think are) PTSD symptoms because of it. I don't like it when people touch me and get really tense when they do, I have a hard time conveying or controlling my emotions, I almost think people have alternative motives when they hug me, I have had flashbacks of the abuse before, and the anxiety just causes me to not trust anyone. I want to tell my doctor about it, but do not know how to bring it up. I want to be able to heal, but don't know where to start.
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Molested - My story....
Trauma Support / by alexis9
Last post
 October 28th, 2016
...See more I was 7 years old when I was molested. Seven. I was molested by my stepbrother who was 16 at the time. I remember my mom and step dad had left the house to go get pizza. My sister was upstairs and my brother was downstairs. My stepbrother and I were watching Spongebob and he asked me if I wanted to sit on his lap. I said sure, because what 7 year old doesn't want to sit on their big brothers lap? Then he stuck his hand down my pants and into my underwear. I froze. I sat there, scared and shocked. I remember after he did it hiding in my room under my desk. My mom and step dad came home and everyone was yelling because they couldn't find me. I wouldn't tell anyone for months. Fast forward 11 years to this summer. I see him at a funeral that I am attending as well. I have a panic attack. I start crying and shaking. I can't breathe but I stay seated. I keep my head down and don't let anyone touch me or try to console me. My family thought I was shaking a bunch because of the funeral. They didn't know that I was shaking and couldn't breathe because my attacker was 3 seats down from me. I don't like hugs. I don't like people touching me, not even my family members. I've never dated anyone because I refuse to trust them, because look where that got me last time. I have forgiven my attacker, with the help of God, but how to I start healing and letting people in again? It's like I stray away from happiness because I don't know how to feel emotions sometimes, like I am numb...
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