Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
alienemylee
60 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2017 Member sinceMay 12, 2017
Bio
Recent forum posts
alienemylee profile picture
Need Serious Advice...
Depression Support / by alienemylee
Last post
 May 16th, 2017
...See more I don't even know where to start. I know for a fact my depression started around the late elementary years when I was getting bullied at school and emotionally abused at home. I'm almost 18 now, so I've been living with it for a pretty long time. It peaked around 7th/8th grade and then went back down as I stopped self-harming my sophomore year. Now, it's getting bad again, but not because of any self-harm or abuse or anything. I'm far past that. What's happening now is I feel completely numb and unmotivated. I won't brush my hair for weeks on end, sometimes I won't shower for a week, hell, I can't even remember the last time I had time to brush my teeth in the morning because I never have the motivation to wake up on schedule. I'm always rushing. My hygiene keeps slipping into a bigger hole, I haven't had the motivation to clean my room in months so it's literally an abyss that I get yelled at for daily, my grades aren't the best anymore and I'm an honors student, I can barely make it through my regular shifts at work, and anything that I used to cope with (art, writing, etc) I have zero interest in anymore. Whenever I'm not working or at school, I'm in bed and I usually don't get up unless I'm going to the bathroom. And what my parents don't understand is that this seriously affects me, but they yell at me constantly for being "lazy and disgusting." If I actually say it's depression, they just brush it off as an excuse and tell me to toughen up even though they know full well I used to self-harm and everything. There's literally nothing I can do. The only thing that genuinely makes me happy anymore is being around my boyfriend, who understands what I'm feeling and is there for me. My problem is, I want this to end. I want to be able to feel good about myself again, to maintain good hygiene again, to have a clean room again, and to love my hobbies again. I just want all that back and I literally just can't do it. And since my parents don't believe a word I say about depression, obviously there's no way I'd be able to obtain medication for it, and I wouldn't be able to go to therapy either. That's my issue. I don't want to wait until I'm an adult to try to fix this. That being said, does anyone have a way to kick this to the curb naturally, or a way around getting meds? I need to be better again. Thanks in advance! 💖💖
Search more from @alienemylee
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
4 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out First Compassion
Report an issue