Need Serious Advice...
I don't even know where to start.
I know for a fact my depression started around the late elementary years when I was getting bullied at school and emotionally abused at home. I'm almost 18 now, so I've been living with it for a pretty long time. It peaked around 7th/8th grade and then went back down as I stopped self-harming my sophomore year. Now, it's getting bad again, but not because of any self-harm or abuse or anything. I'm far past that.
What's happening now is I feel completely numb and unmotivated. I won't brush my hair for weeks on end, sometimes I won't shower for a week, hell, I can't even remember the last time I had time to brush my teeth in the morning because I never have the motivation to wake up on schedule. I'm always rushing. My hygiene keeps slipping into a bigger hole, I haven't had the motivation to clean my room in months so it's literally an abyss that I get yelled at for daily, my grades aren't the best anymore and I'm an honors student, I can barely make it through my regular shifts at work, and anything that I used to cope with (art, writing, etc) I have zero interest in anymore. Whenever I'm not working or at school, I'm in bed and I usually don't get up unless I'm going to the bathroom. And what my parents don't understand is that this seriously affects me, but they yell at me constantly for being "lazy and disgusting." If I actually say it's depression, they just brush it off as an excuse and tell me to toughen up even though they know full well I used to self-harm and everything. There's literally nothing I can do. The only thing that genuinely makes me happy anymore is being around my boyfriend, who understands what I'm feeling and is there for me.
My problem is, I want this to end. I want to be able to feel good about myself again, to maintain good hygiene again, to have a clean room again, and to love my hobbies again. I just want all that back and I literally just can't do it. And since my parents don't believe a word I say about depression, obviously there's no way I'd be able to obtain medication for it, and I wouldn't be able to go to therapy either. That's my issue. I don't want to wait until I'm an adult to try to fix this. That being said, does anyone have a way to kick this to the curb naturally, or a way around getting meds? I need to be better again.
Thanks in advance! 💖💖
@alienemylee
@alienemylee
@alienemylee
@alienemylee I was bullied in school too and and I am a lot older than you and it is still affecting my life and self esteem. Please please don't let this happen to you! Is there a crisis line in your area? Is ther any adult adult you would feel safe talking too? Any one who mioght help with your parents. You have done nothing to deserve this bad treatment and you are a good person who has a lot of insight into your problems; that is good first step. St John's wort was somewhat helpful to me and vitiman D 5000 mg a day has helped too, especially in the winter. This may sound silly, but hot sauce is supposed to increase your endorphins and lift the mood. Vitimin B complex copuld help. If you can do even one good thing for yourself every day that might help. Please work on controlling the negative thoughts you are probably having about yourself. You are not lazy or useless. You are ill and there is help. Take care ofyourself! You are impoprtant.
St. John's Wort is a good herb for depression, but make sure to look at some of the side effects and risks associated with it as well before deciding to use it. I've also heard that acupuncture can help. For me, aromatherapy always made me feel better, especially lavender, and so does drinking chamomile tea. Especially if you don't want to have to let your parents know, herbal teas can be really useful and a less unusual purchase, so they probably wouldn't alert your parents to the fact that you are seeking treatment for depression, if that is your goal. I also found that massages/massage therapy are helpful for me personally because they are more grounding and they feel amazing so they improve my mood and calm me. I love to be touched, but I generally have problems with people touching me unless I initiate it, so getting that kind of sensation in a professional environment is so soothing and relaxing. I also sometimes use essential oils, and I'll put a few drops on my pillow at night or in a hot bath and then just soak for a while and let my tension, stress, and worries just disappear for a while. Mindfulness and meditation are wonderful mind practices. I like physical practices as well, such as yoga or qigong. Any combination of these could be really helpful. It kind of depends on what works best for you, so it might take some trial and error before you find out what is the most effective and beneficial for you personally. Good luck, I'll keep you in mind and I hope you'll feel better soon!
Thanks, everyone! I'll definitely try all the suggestions I got. 💖