aligatrix14 Member Profile

...See more Hi, I don't know where to begin and we're already to an awkward start here, but as you can tell by the title everything means absolutely nothing to me. I have grown with only anger and hatred, raw emotion is something alien to me and I haven't learned to embrace anything, constantly under pressure and stress since I was 10. Abuse in all forms and I'm still alive, I've got attemps and tried to catch the bus many times and the next time is in June. I am so sick of myself that I want to force my fingers through my ribs and break them, then pull my heart out. I feel nothing and when I do it's only pain and suffering, I have to pretend I'm okay because nobody can help and they all end up being upset when they realise I'm someone who cannot be helped, someone born to live like this, meant to not have a life. I honestly don't care about anything when I'm like this which is most of the time, I just wish things were a little different, and a sidenote that I do believe in God, but not for the reason of having faith, but having someone to blame, I'm tired of people telling me they'll pray for me when God has done enough. It's a stupid topic that I won't extend any further. A summary would be that my life is utter hell and I am a fish in a barrel and the water's running out, hopefully.

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