Everything means nothing to me
Hi, I don't know where to begin and we're already to an awkward start here, but as you can tell by the title everything means absolutely nothing to me.
I have grown with only anger and hatred, raw emotion is something alien to me and I haven't learned to embrace anything, constantly under pressure and stress since I was 10. Abuse in all forms and I'm still alive, I've got attemps and tried to catch the bus many times and the next time is in June. I am so sick of myself that I want to force my fingers through my ribs and break them, then pull my heart out. I feel nothing and when I do it's only pain and suffering, I have to pretend I'm okay because nobody can help and they all end up being upset when they realise I'm someone who cannot be helped, someone born to live like this, meant to not have a life. I honestly don't care about anything when I'm like this which is most of the time, I just wish things were a little different, and a sidenote that I do believe in God, but not for the reason of having faith, but having someone to blame, I'm tired of people telling me they'll pray for me when God has done enough. It's a stupid topic that I won't extend any further. A summary would be that my life is utter hell and I am a fish in a barrel and the water's running out, hopefully.
I hear you @aligatrix14 It must have been so tough for you. Life is often painful. But it is manageable even though it feels like it isn't. Do more things you enjoy and try to make the most out of the present
https://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/
I think reading this will help you ❤️ Hope you feel better soon 💜
@aligatrix14 Perhaps you've forgotten you're alive. Not a wish before you, just a bare expanse. What is it that you want; are you looking for help?
Hello @aligatrix14. There's no right way to start, but I'm glad you came here to vent a little :)
It sounds like you've gone through many tough and scarring experiences. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with so much and at such a young age. It is normal to have no energy left for caring or anything at all when you've had so much to deal with. You're understandably exhausted. But please contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to www.suicide.org if you feel that it's too much to handle and you need their help.
It must be extra discouraging to feel that no one around you understands the things that you're feeling or going through. You're welcome to send me a message or connect to any listener here on the website if you feel like talking. That can sometimes take a big load off one's chest.
I hope you stay safe and that you feel better soon <3
Your life may be hard
But all your strength is going to give you a better life the life you want
Just don't loose hope
