almondgirly Member Profile

...See more Hi I'm 18, recently moved out of my house, and instead of moving on and growing up from my ED ive had since I was about 13 I feel I latched onto it even more when I started living alone. I suppose it's comforting to have something with me here in this new city, house, and life that is familiar. I am so done with losing all of my hobbies, passions, and honestly I feel like my whole personality is being stolen from me because of this ED. I can't enjoy time with friends, go out to eat, drink, party, do anything without experiencing at least several ED symptoms. I'm 18 and I feel like I am stuck inside the mind of my 13 year old self still. Yet, even with all of this in mind, I can't justify starting all in recovery because I haven't achieved my ED's main goal yet. I don't look the way my ED has always wanted to, I haven't gotten the attention my ED craves. I feel like all the struggling and effort I have put into my body will all be pointless if I recover now. I don't feel sick enough to recover, but will I ever? Isn't one of the biggest hitters of an ED that the disorder will never be satisfied? Even if I was as thin as I want to be, even if I had the validation of a man telling me I'm thin and wanting to fix me, even if I look sick?

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