when does sick become sick enough for recovery?

Hi I'm 18, recently moved out of my house, and instead of moving on and growing up from my ED ive had since I was about 13 I feel I latched onto it even more when I started living alone. I suppose it's comforting to have something with me here in this new city, house, and life that is familiar. 

I am so done with losing all of my hobbies, passions, and honestly I feel like my whole personality is being stolen from me because of this ED. I can't enjoy time with friends, go out to eat, drink, party, do anything without experiencing at least several ED symptoms. I'm 18 and I feel like I am stuck inside the mind of my 13 year old self still. 

Yet, even with all of this in mind, I can't justify starting all in recovery because I haven't achieved my ED's main goal yet. I don't look the way my ED has always wanted to, I haven't gotten the attention my ED craves. I feel like all the struggling and effort I have put into my body will all be pointless if I recover now. 

I don't feel sick enough to recover, but will I ever? Isn't one of the biggest hitters of an ED that the disorder will never be satisfied? Even if I was as thin as I want to be, even if I had the validation of a man telling me I'm thin and wanting to fix me, even if I look sick?