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ambitiousBalsam4113
299 M Embraced 2
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2018 Member sinceSeptember 15, 2018
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A hard lesson to learn... (Alcohol mention)
Anxiety Support / by ambitiousBalsam4113
Last post
 October 22nd, 2018
...See more So both of my parents are alcoholics. My dad drinks cause he can't handle his brain, to put it in his own words: "When I drink I'm destroying my body. When I don't drink I'm destroying my mind. How do I win?" He becomes incredibly depressed when sober for extended periods of time, and takes it out on us which makes him feel worse, according to my mom. My mom drinks because she's Bipolar. Her medication suppresses all of her emotions. If she doesn't she becomes dangerously suicidal. She gets tired of not being able to feel anything, so she drinks to feel what others are feeling. According to her, she becomes an empath when she drinks, able to feel emotions, and that makes her happy. There's nothing I can do to stop them or to help them really. I just have to let them walk their own path while taking care of myself and doing my chores (and trying to search for a job while having sensory sensitivity which is a whole nother rant.). It's a hard pill to swallow though. ...I still worry about them a lot, but I don't think that will change. I guess I have to trust them to know their limits, let them do what they're going to do and hope my liver doesn't get fatty in case I have to donate to them. I like to think they'll stop if they're livers get that bad. My mom quite for several years, allowing her liver to heal, so she says she's okay for a while. I hope they'll stop. I'll admit. I feel a bit bitter, knowing I'll willingly donate to them, I want to help them, but I feel bitter that I might have to? Does that make sense?
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