ambitiousSailboat2353 Member Profile

...See more I love the outdoors, I love nature, I love everything about it. But 3 years ago after a very traumatic experience (near death for me and my children) I do not trust anybody. I don't want people near me. This has been getting increasingly worse and yes I'm getting help through my doctor but I'm currently weaning off my meds to start new ones. Since the pandemic, I have only left the house a handful of times and since Christmas I don't think I've left at all. I can't even go to the car without suffering a huge attack and then I claw at my arms and legs. Even writing this about going outside is making me feel sick. I know I need help. My OH tries to support me, in his own way, but sometimes does more harm than good. Anyway, rambling on.... I am terrified of leaving the house. Of my children leaving my side. I'm always on high alert for danger and this year I've been able to keep them by my side, in the house, safe as we can be (I have alot of house protection and precautions) My problem is on 8th March my son will be going back to school and I'm so scared. Not only will he be away from me, but I will have to go outside..... And I dont know if I can....im not sleeping cos I'm worrying about it and noone seems to understand how hard it is right now. All I get told is 'oh it will be OK' 'you'll be fine once you're out' But what if it isn't, what if I'm not fine..... What if my kids aren't fine. I live my life in constant fear, don't worry I get told all the time I shouldn't, but it's hard to switch it off. Just kinda need to know I'm not alone here..... Thanks for reading x

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