Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
amusingSummer8989
1 631 M Embraced 5
PathStep 28 Compassion hearts64 Forum posts25 Forum upvotes41 Current upvotes41 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2025 Member sinceFebruary 27, 2025
Bio
Recent forum posts
amusingSummer8989 profile picture
Why this keep happening to me?
Friendship Support / by amusingSummer8989
Last post
 April 19th, 2025
...See more TW: a comment from a creep with a large age gap Looking back, I realize that I am bad at recognizing what true friendship really is. My first best friend (we have been together for 20 years) stole my pencil upon our first meeting (we were 7 years old that time). I cried and she got scolded by the teacher. We did become best friends, but she never defended me from bullies, always discarded my emotional plight, and was jealous of me for "stealing" her friends because I was the smarter one. I also had another friend whom I was close with. But looking back now, I realise that he's a creep because he said that he wished he could marry me despite he was already married that time, and to make matters worse, I was 18 that time, but he's almost 30 that time. I lost a friend to a huge argument almost two months ago, and I was really upset at myself. But looking back now, I remember that our first meeting had her getting offended by something innocent I had said, and we had a short fight in the public chat server, and I was made to feel bad about what I just said (despite nobody else was offended by it). Not to mention that there are times she was being hypocritical (but I never called her out because I didn't think much about it), and she just gave toxic positivity vibes. I am just scared that I can't protect myself from people who want to take advantage of me... Because I have gone through enough...
amusingSummer8989 profile picture
Should I trust her?
Friendship Support / by amusingSummer8989
Last post
 March 13th, 2025
...See more I know my friend said that she wanted to make peace with me after a huge argument we had. She said that we should just let time pass and we could talk one day. I agreed to it, but she has blocked me on all platforms right now. It is going to be 2 weeks now. As much as I try to convince myself that she would unblock me and reconcile with me, I keep having this fear that she has betrayed me. I have gone through a lot of betrayal from those who are the closest to me - my family, old friends and ex boyfriend. Even though she has told me many times that she's not like them, I struggle to believe her. Now that she is blocking me right now, I wonder if I should trust her or give in to the possibility that she has betrayed me like other people in my past.
amusingSummer8989 profile picture
I am torn
Reading & Writing / by amusingSummer8989
Last post
 March 11th, 2025
...See more Sometimes I feel a burst of energy and enthusiasm in creative writing, but then I would feel disinterested and dejected to the point that I wanted to burn all of my works down because I felt that it's not good enough... How do I stop this?
amusingSummer8989 profile picture
I don't know if I have ruined everything
Friendship Support / by amusingSummer8989
Last post
 March 2nd, 2025
...See more Recently I have a huge argument with my friend. She said that she wanted to make peace with me, and that we should let time pass and we could talk one day. She even said "see you in a while." However, I found that she has blocked me on all platforms. I couldn't reach out to her so I had to wait for her to take the initiative to reconcile. This isn't the first time she does this. She did block me after our first argument for a week to cool things down. But this is our third argument now, and it is the worst one. She felt wronged by my actions of throwing away all my support to her and her creative work based on a false pretense (I suddenly got triggered at that moment and I lashed out. I also have been dealing with tons of emotional distress recently but it's not an excuse to be a horrible person). She is aware that I have gone through tons of trauma, usually involving people close to me betraying or abandoning me. She constantly told me that she is not like them, but I constantly struggled to accept it. She was sad that her words couldn't get into my head, and that my insecurities and trauma had made me perceived everyone as monsters. She also constantly told me to stop assuming everything and to have hope in people, believing that they do care about me. Now I wonder if I should trust her for keeping her promise to reconcile with me, or should I think otherwise? Because I felt that I had ruined everything and it's all my fault.
Search more from @amusingSummer8989
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
14 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat Honest Voice First Post Reaching out Helping out Appreciated Voice Contributor First Compassion Helpful heart Teammate Forum Friend Hang 10
Report an issue