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aneamero
107 M Embraced 1
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJuly 15, 2021
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I Wish I Could Just Sleep Through Life
Relationship Stress / by aneamero
Last post
 July 15th, 2021
...See more Hello, everyone. I apologize if I am doing this incorrectly - this is my first time using 7 Cups, which seemed like the right place because I feel like I don't have anywhere else to turn, so... My partner and I have been in a partly long distance relationship for a little over two years. There have been ups and downs along the way, but I suppose things have in general been good enough to warrant our staying together. We have been long distance since January of this year, although our (unspoken) plan was to eventually live together. As that subject has been brought up more and more recently, the fact that we are at an impasse in terms of where to live has come to light. He wants me to move to his country, whereas I want us to move someplace else. I feel like my reasons for not wanting to move to his home country are reasonable: my industry does not exist there, and besides I will probably not be able to find work as a foreigner as the country continues its nationalization plan. In addition to those factors, one of my favorite past times, walking outside in nature, will be impossible there due to the heat and lack of plants. I will also dearly miss the rain. Overall, when I imagine living there for the rest of my life, I see my hopes and dreams for the future, and happiness in general, slipping away. But, I do struggle with catastrophizing and clinical depression, so perhaps I am making a mountain out of a molehill... On the other hand, he is unwilling to consider living any place other than his home town, despite the fact that he had been living in my country for six years by the time we met. He cites concerns such as safety (which I do agree with), but also plans on having his family nearby in the event of financial calamity, which somewhat worries me. The job market his country is very poor, and has been for a while. The fact that he is struggling to find work, but refuses to move elsewhere so we can both have jobs, is very troubling to me - as his dismissive attitude towards my dream of working at a studio and contributing towards out future family financially. He still supports my schooling, but I cannot discern why, if he is unsupportive of my career plans. I feel like I have already rambled too much... I apologize, but I have no one else to talk to. I agreed to move to be with him, but I already feel my happiness diminishing, as well as the affection I feel towards him. He does not seem to understand why I am unhappy, even though I have explained over and over. I wish I did not have to sideline my dreams and happiness. I wish he was willing to negotiate and explore avenues where we could both be happy and chase our dreams. I wish I could just sleep for the rest of my life to escape everything... I don't know what to do. I'm sorry for complaing.
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