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anonyMoon4252
73 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2019 Member sinceSeptember 28, 2019
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My Relationship with My Mother is Toxic
Relationship Stress / by anonyMoon4252
Last post
 September 29th, 2019
...See more To sum up a lifetime, I am a people-pleaser and my mother has Manipulative Personality Disorder. People always say to cut toxic people out of your life, but what do you do when that person is your mother? Basically, she looks to me for her happiness and I can't always fulfill that for her. It's unhealthy how I have had to spend my whole life consoling and parenting HER, that is supposed to be her role. When everyone else disappoints her, she looks to me as her last hope and if I can't fulfill her needs, all hell breaks loose. These are her commons phrases: "Why am I always there for everybody and nobody is there for me?" "After everything I have done for you, you treat me this way? You are so unbelievably ungrateful." And when I try to remind her that I am an introvert and am trying to put my mental health first by taking time to myself to recharge and I can't be with her every second of the day, she takes it extremely personal and claims that "I don't love her" and how she wishes I loved her as much as she loves me. Oh, and my least favorite guilt trip of all time: "When I'm dead and gone, you are gonna be sorry and you are gonna wish I was still around to care about you." Just absolute insanity. So in conclusion, I am all ears if anyone has suggestions on how to deal with people like this. I love my mom to death and that's why it breaks my heart when she's so mad at me most of the time. I just feel like I can never do anything right and I am a failure no matter what I do. I know it's unhealthy to always agree to what she wants but I do it to keep peace for just a little while longer, when in reality, it's just gonna happen again anyway. I need to learn how to set boundaries and form a thicker skin against her harsh words, but it's hard. I don't wanna be disrespectful to my mom but right now, I think I am being more disrespectful to myself by ignoring my own needs. Thoughts? Thanks in advance, you guys.
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