Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched
arsh9872
104 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceJune 1, 2020
Bio
Recent forum posts
arsh9872 profile picture
Exhausted
Depression Support / by arsh9872
Last post
 November 27th, 2020
...See more I have been told to ‘advertise’ myself on social media for my career. Nothing too serious, just posting my works a bit, so people can get to know my capabilities. It’s normal, many people do it, of course. I know I can do it... technically. I know what I should post, what I should say, but fuck, simply imagining it makes me feel so damn tired. Yet, not using it would make me lost contact with my friends, and I just— God, I’m so tired in thinking of taking another ‘skin’, another role, another thing I have to pretend. From the things I plan to the things I do, to the things I wear, I do it just to blend in, to camouflage, to seem normal, and even in doing it, I am already seem like a freak for some people, even my friends, anti social they called it. But I’m tired to maintaining my facial expression, thinking the right replies, saying the right things at the right time so no one notice anything wrong— when simply thinking about what I have to do for the next day leave me exhausted. Thinking I have to maintain this farce I don’t even know what for, at the end I can’t connect with anyone else all the same after all. I feel so alone, I don’t even get myself, why I feel sad, angry, afraid and tired and other things I can’t explain when my life is okay? There’s this gap, barrier between me and myself & me and other people. I wish I am stronger than this, the people in my life deserve someone better than me, but oh fuck I’m so fucking tired what the hell is wrong with me
arsh9872 profile picture
Not sure
Trauma Support / by arsh9872
Last post
 September 12th, 2020
...See more So tonight my friends and I are having a drinking game and mostly what we talked about sexual things, you know, like how far youve gone, what your favorite position, your kink, etc, youve got the idea. Its fun of course, we laughed about it, but I couldnt stop worrying, Are they alright? Are they ever forced? Are all of that consensual? And when it was my turn; Where did you do the most scandolous thing youve done? My mind wander to a guy who jerked off right in front of me in a public transportation when I was in middle school. For the life of me, I thought of a way to tell that story in a fun way, and fuck I know what I could say for it to be fun, but I just couldnt bring myself to. I mean I dont know if I could control my face or if my voice would tremble. I dont have it in me to make it a funny story even though it could be a funny one, I mean I wasnt even touched, I wasnt forced, he just ended up in front of me, and I could tell it like, Do you believe theres this guy who jerked in front of me in my way to (this mall)? Its a public space, for Gods sake?! Imagine how awkward it is for me?! But I just cant. I cant remember it in a fun way. I just felt fucking stupid, like I should wack him in the head or something instead of being confused and embarassed, and trying to pretend I didnt see what he was doing.
Search more from @arsh9872
Talk to an expert therapist
Welcome! Here is where your courageous step towards healing and personal growth...
Talk to Joe Now
Badges & Awards
6 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Forum Friend
Report an issue
Feel better with online therapy Professional, confidential and affordable. Start today
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched