artnic Member Profile

...See more Hi, all. I'm a 24yo and I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for some time now. Last year I had several episodes of anxiety attacks and even left my job for one less stressing. I've been going to therapy still, but stopped taking the antidepressants. I've noticed that I feel really low when I try to talk to people, old friendships and so, and I feel like I'm not important to then. For example, a conversation on whatsapp usually leads to then taking really long time to answer (even days). And as I observe (and from my point of view) people usually hangout and don't call me to do anything. So I make my move. Invite people to go get a coffee, a walk in the park, and they are always busy. Well, I believe I am a nice guy. I have a nice job, I don't do drugs, I've always been polite and kind to people, even people not closer to me and I'm known as the guy who is always there to help. But sometimes I want just a little attention, and they all seem so occupied. Even my girlfriend does this sometimes. I had a fight with her once because of this and she told me she wasn't giving me attention because she was studying - and some time later, saw she liking posts on facebook...) Last night she went out with some of her friends (and it gets me why I wasn't invited). When back, she just took too long to answer my messages that I told I was going to sleep just not to fight again. Last month, if I sum up all the time we were together, I think it's about 1h and a half. She said to me she was going to study really hard for this semester and that she wasn't able to hangout. She even canceled our date at valentine's day. Asked if I could see her for just 30 minutes, just for a coffee or something and she said she couldn't. Then I ate all the chocolate I was going to give her. My friends wanted to go out yesterday and wanted me to ask her to go too, but as she stated she couldn't go out I never said anything about it... and then she comes and says: 'hey, I'm gonna go eat pizza with Mary. There are other people going. Is that ok?' I'm really upset about this but I think this is another subject hahah even thought I think I feel unappreciated here too. One episode that really got me is when people from my church were setting up a date to just have an afternoon hangout in the park. Well, in the given time and day I waited for then there. As they were late, I sent some messages in whatsapp and no one replied, even thought they seen my messages. Well, I live in a small city and then I went to a coffee house I really like close to the park. Some of then were there, hanging out. "Hey, no one showed in the park?", one of then asked me, lifing up to greet me. "No. I even tried to talk to then but no one replied". "Oh, and how are you doing?" "I'm doing fine, thanks for asking :)" There were about 7 people in a full table and then I just said: "Hey, don't mind me, I'm just gonna sit there and read a book, okay? Have fun, guys!" I felt really bad that day and I think this illustrates how I feel. Yes, I believe lots of this is my fault, that I feel this way because of me and myself. But how can I overcome this? I really hate feeling like this. I want to be happy with myself but I think I struggle a lot to feel loved be others.

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