artschoolgraduate Member Profile

...See more hi there! i’m looking for advice and/or someone to talk to about compromise and long-term dating in your twenties. my partner and i have been together for about five years; we started dating when i was 19. i love him very much, but sometimes i wonder if i’m not meant to be in such a long-term/serious relationship at this age (or i’m just toxic and in over my head). i really value independence in a relationship, to the point that i hate thinking that every decision that i make affects the way he lives (does that make sense?). when we were in college, it didn’t matter too much bc we had a set way of living/could really be independent of each other. but now that we’re older, it worries me that if i want to make a big jump or do something different, he kinda has to sign off on it (and vice versa). this is a really small, kinda dumb example, but earlier he asked if we could get a pet snake if/when we move in together. i’m not super keen on that idea, so i told him that and he was fine. but in the back of my mind, i was thinking like ‘you have to give up something you really want just to be with me and that doesn’t feel right’. like, i know relationships are all about compromise, but at what point are you just giving up parts of yourself to be with another person? i have so much to say about this, but i guess that’s where i’ll start.

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