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asbjorn99
213 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2017 Member sinceDecember 7, 2017
Bio

Hello. I'm a pretty avid roleplayer, mostly on forum sites as of late. I really adore using a keyboard that requires more than 2 thumbs. I joined because I feel like I'm getting pretty rough, mentally/emotionally... my physique is faltering as well. I've never cried as much as I have this year, and I've never self-harmed as often either. I can feel something in me changing, and I'm truly worried that it could be for the worse. I want to find ways that I can help myself... and I want to desire help.

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Open Diary of Noelle
Journals & Diaries / by asbjorn99
Last post
 December 23rd, 2017
...See more December 21st, 2017 Today seems to be one of the better days. I haven't cried, or got too wound up just yet. But it is only 2:30PM, so, we'll see. I started the day of a tad later than I would have liked, but I caught up on all of my lists (I have a set on Google Keep and a paper/pen daily planner) and ate something before 4PM. Going to try to stay in the kitchen with the windows open, letting the fresh air come through. I find the cool air and sunlight are rather helpful to my mindset. Hell now that I think about it I could go on a walk today, before it gets too dark & cold. I normally walk with my mother, but she and my sister are sick as dogs currently. I've been quarantining myself to my room mostly these past few days. I've not fallen victim to the sickness. Not yet. Feeling slightly accomplished and slightly... well... slighted, I didn't blow up something super simple into a huge argument with my boyfriend today. (Again, it's only 2:40PM) I kinda just gave up and let him tell me how I was doing something wrongly. It still hurts, and I'm rather displeased, but I'll get over it. Normally he tells me repeatedly for a long while and I'm arguing back. Our words go right over each others' heads though. He always says that I am always trying to be right... but if that was the case, and we took a step back to look at it that way... I'm never even allowed to be right. Oh well, though. I don't know where our feelings started to get lost in translation, but I'd certainly like them to find their way back. He always talks about how I used to be and what I used to do... like, buddy, I know lol, I hate myself rn too. I'd like to end this on a positive note though... I didn't mean for this to get as awkward as it did, so here a cringey poem: Roses are red, Violets are violet, I just wanted a laugh, Does anyone know the Heimlich?!
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