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ash67364
11,354 M Pacing Forward 5
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts154 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceMay 21, 2020
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I can't cope! (My story)
Anxiety Support / by ash67364
Last post
 July 15th, 2020
...See more Hi, I am 13 yrs old and I can't cope... with everything! It is too much! It is like a spiral spinning down and down and I can't get back up! I am so anxious and in pain, all the time, and I rarely have a good night's sleep. These are most of the reasons why: *if I have a condition she has called restless leg syndrome *never having a good night sleep staying up for hours not by choice *if I have Trichotillomania (pulling out hair disorder) * if my mum is emotionally abusing me *all this school work building up *just sitting wasting the whole day *tired all the time *not being able to tell anyone I can't cope *my parents not listening or telling me off if I say something hurts *all the pain of everything everyday *a headache that won't leave me alone *and hiding it all that's the worse just having to stay smiley and happy when I am not I really am not I told my friend (she was the first person I ever told about the Trichotillomania bc I kept it a secret for 7 or so years) and she called her doc for me to ask about everything.(I have not heard from her in a while but soon hopefully) I called the school recently and talked to two teachers then one of them told another teacher who had helped me get through a back problem when i could hardly walk by myself and lasted a year so anyway i got a call from her well my dad picks up and later gives the phone to me i was rly confused i didn't know she was calling so i told her about the leg thing and how it was affecting my school work in two days(she called twice i was busy first time)and then we agreed yesterday that i would talk to both my parents about it then i hear SHoUTIng dOwNsTaiRs and my dad comes up after and says my mum got an email from my teacher AND I HAD NO IDES I THOUGHT SHE KNEW BETTER THEN TO GO AHEAD AND TELL MY MUM LITERALLY 5/ 10 MINS AFTER WE SPOKE SHE DID NOT EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE TO SAY ANYTHING i am just dissapointed cos i trusted her she did not really tell my mum anything she just said: i have talked to (me) and when would you be free to talk(my mum) so then my mum said her timings and IT HaS NOW MaDe It SO MuCH wOrSE and now i wish i never even called the school....... and i know that is my mum is already angry there is no way she will listen and the teacher wanted me to go to a doc or phone them and she just could not understand why i have not gone already and then she said:I'M SuRe Ur PaRenTs Are mOrE coNCeRNeD aboUT yOuR hEAlTH RaTher ThAn yOUr WoRk. IT IS COS: nO OnE bElIevEs MeH I kinda protect m parents bc my mum is rly shouty a lot of the time and for the tiniest thing. And my dad is just kinda ignorant without meaning to be. My mum tells me off if I say anything about pain or hypermobility that i have. My dad a few days ago looked at some websites with me about RLS (restless leg syndrome) and I am now trying some iron supplements just to see if it makes a difference. And then hopefully in a few weeks time 'if it does not get better' we can go to a doctor-which is my goal. Today, in a few hours time, my teacher will call again. As far as I know she has not called my mum yet but I am so scared for when she does. I am so anxious now and I just wish I never called bc now I am in a real dilemma and I have to get the teacher off my back bc it is making everything worse. And I can't do it. I can't. My dad is making me wait to see how it goes and if it improves... BUT I have been waiting for a year (or more for the hair thing) /months (last few months have got worse MUCH worse) and they do not understand how patient I have been how much pain I have gone through. My mum just shouts at me and does not believe me and thinks me to be a wimp whenever I try to tell her the truth. I am not a wimp, I am not stupid and I am not an idiot! I am scared, I am anxious but I am not alone anymore! Thank you!
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