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asher101xx
2 98 M Embraced 1
“ Just don’t leave me alone wondering where you are , I am stronger than you give me credit for „
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupTeen Last activeJuly, 2025 Member sinceJuly 7, 2025
Bio

I’m 14 , ASD , MDD , OSDD-1b and GAD ….     I’m a very anxious person and I like a lot of things. Bungo stray dogs and Pokémon are my current hyperfixations. 

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“We accept the love we think we deserve”
Trauma Support / by asher101xx
Last post
 July 7th, 2025
...See more TW: SA , SH , abuse , hypersexuality and probably more. Basically just a HUGE vent cuz I don’t have anyone to vent to (I hope it’s ok to do this Idk what to do anymore. I’m so lost. Everything is so much and so little at the same time. My mom is in the hospital and I’m so worried for her. I visited her today and she was so yellow. And idk. I love her so much but every time I see her I’m always reminded about her abuse she did to me. Those years of her yelling and hitting and screaming. She’s said the most hateful words snd they are always playing in my head. But she has a reason why she’s like this. She’s autistic and has BPD. My dad was incredibly abusive towards her. I would watch my dad beat her all the time. I don’t remember it but I know it happened. My dad isnt as bad as he his now and they broke up a couple years ago. But idk. I feel so gross with myself. I’m a horrible person. I’m always ruining my relationships. I’m currently in a situationship with someone i definitely shouldn’t be dating at my age. I’m constantly dissociating. My other alters think that I shouldn’t be host but I don’t want to not be host. I’m never happy. I’ll be happy for a little bit byt everything comes falling down. I’m a paraphile so I feel disgusted with myself for that. My dad doesn’t want to get me therapy because I “don’t have Truama” like dude? My sa memories are killing me. I’ve been sa 4 times and it’s driving me insane. I miss my abuser but I hate him. I miss how he made me feel loved even if he didn’t actually love me. He gave me a purpose. But he was so horrible to me. I’m just going insane. Anyway idk :T
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