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ashleenr
135 M Embraced 1
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceAugust 24, 2022
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relationship rant
General Support / by ashleenr
Last post
August 24th, 2022
...See more for some context, i have bpd, and recently got out of the psych ward. recently me and my boyfriends relationship had been getting worse slowly, he admitted to love bombing me, i feel like i can’t live without him i love him so much he’s my entire world. i found out while i was in the ward he’d cheated multiple times. and it hurts so bad, i really feel like i can’t handle it. he regrets it so much and is working so hard to make it up and regain my trust, i love him so much i wanna be able to fix it, i know i do. i just feel so dumb, i let this happen, but i also realize it’s not my fault and i’m so torn, we’ve been together almost a year now, my family loves him. i feel so broken, i can barely look at him the same knowing how he talked to them, showed them parts of himself i thought only i saw and i didn’t even realize. i wanted to get better for him i wanted to take hold of my codependency and my bpd, get on meds, get better, it just feels like this always happens to me, and i don’t know if i can handle it anymore i’m just hurting so badly. i used to self harm a lot before and i’m trying so hard not to rebound on it, i feel so alone, i almost went homeless multiple times and he was the only one i had anymore, and now knowing this i feel so alone, i feel like it’s just me now, but i just wanna fix it, i wish i never looked, i feel like an idiot
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