autumnsunsets Member Profile

...See more this is a really long story that requires a lot of context but i would really appreciate it if anyone had any suggestions to help my situation. i'm a current junior in high school and i've always loved writing and the humanities, but since i go to school in a competitive, relatively stem-focused school district, my mom (typical asian parent) has always pushed me to do well in math. i was never great at math, but i scraped through with low A's until eighth grade, when my family moved to my current school district where the math program is significantly more difficult. when we moved here, my mom pushed for me to be put in the accelerated math program, where i started struggling with my math grades. since then, i have not received a math average higher than a B. this year, when we were choosing math classes, it seemed obvious to me that i needed to take AP calculus BC, which is a notoriously hard math class, even for our school, just because it was the next step in the accelerated math track. a few months into the class, i realized that it would be basically impossible for me to earn even a B, and my GPA would take a hit, which i believed would hurt my chances of getting into a good college even more. so i dropped the class, with the intention of taking a calc AB course over the summer to fill the empty math spot on my transcript. fast forward to friday, when my parents yelled at me for being careless and not trying hard enough in my academics. they told me i would never get into a good college because i never tried and didn't care about anything. my mom brought up the summer course application, so i lied and told her the applications were due in may (even though i had no idea when they were actually due) to get her to stop yelling. the deadline to register for a summer course was actually friday. even though the application was open for two months, i completely missed it. my parents were actually right in saying i was careless, and i really hate myself for not checking the deadlines more. i genuinely understand that this mistake is completely on me and i'm trying my best to fix the situation, but i've emailed a whole lot of people and things don't seem to be looking up. i don't think i'll be able to take this summer course. i'm scared that this could really hurt my chances of getting into a good college. i don't know what i'm going to do if this is what causes me to be rejected from the good colleges. if i tell my mom that this happened, i'm genuinely scared for what she's going to do to me. as a result of friday, my dad has already installed a security camera in my bedroom to make sure i'm doing homework on my computer. i want to show my parents that i really am regretful about this and i'm trying to do better, but i just know that if i even begin confessing to this they're going to be yelling at me before i even get a word out. i'm scared that my stupid mistake is going to stop me from getting into a good college. i don't know what to do or how to tell them.

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