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babychopsticks
1 165 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2020 Member sinceJanuary 26, 2020
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tainted subconscious :(
Relationship Stress / by babychopsticks
Last post
 January 28th, 2020
...See more in october 2018 i was unofficially dating this guy . instant strong connection , very like minded & felt so right . but it was about three months we lasted in harmony then i felt like maybe he doesnt want me anymore . so i calmly asked him a few times actually if he still wanted me . he would assure me w paragraphs & swearing on graves .. something started to tell me to let go but HE wouldnt let me . then i was hooked for 5 more months . 5 more months of being the one who puts in all the effort which previously i was avoiding . it was for nothing bc i was nothing .. to him . from beginning to end he manipulated & gaslighted me but still to this day will not admit it . he still swears he was genuine & that he cares for me but his feelings for me randomly disappeared & he didnt know how to handle it . a part of me believes that and a part of me doesnt . it makes it hard to let go bc idk what was real ... but (heres where things get real complicated) about two months of no contact with him , i met someone . we didnt have that instant strong connection but there was a connection that i couldnt deny . i tried to make sure i was completely over my ex before getting seriously involved with my now 6 month long bf who i love so much . but til this day i get intrusive thoughts about my ex & i want nothing more than for it to stop 😓
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