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beeW
1 75 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2020 Member sinceSeptember 16, 2020
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I don't know how to talk to her again
Relationship Stress / by beeW
Last post
 September 17th, 2020
...See more I really miss my highschool best friend. We were inseparable for 2 years and we could talk all day long together. I rarely had such a fusional friendship and I really felt so, so good with her. She was really impressive in many ways and we were so different but so complementary!!! Then of course, our futures put us apart a bit, we went to different cities for our universities etc, and we couldn't see each other as much as before, but we were still reaching through text. Then I started having kind of a little...crush for her. And that's how I ruined everything because I became way too jealous of everything she was telling me : new friends, new crushes, all new environment and I wasn't in it!! So I was very irrationnal but never showed any inch of jealousy towards her of course, I didn't want her to know I had feelings. But I was sometimes ignoring her a bit because I was too depressed, or crying for nothing, so maybe she noticed and has been mad at me I don't know. We met again after months without texting, we saw each other irl and I was so exicted to meet her, but to her it seemed different, she nearly didn't speak to me at all, talking to her other friend instead, and I felt very rejected. (I know, stupid, it happens!!! she was still sweet to me..) And after this hangout, we never, ever talked again, it's been now 2 years, and I regret so, so much and I miss her everyday, every single day since some months i've been thinking : "How can I reach her again ? I am so sorry" I am so so scared she might be mad at me, or not wanting to talk to me ever again, I really don't dare even giving her a simple "hi" or "how are you", I'm...way too anxious but it's killing me, I really ,really miss her. She was my best friend and she still is in my heart. I just hope she didn't forget about me, she's shining so bright and I'm just there, thinking about her again !! She probably moved on but I didn't, and I still want to have hope..? I feel in my heart that I NEED to talk to her again, it can't finish like this, we wasted so much time over a probable misunderstanding, and because of my irrationality. The question is : What should I say to come back to her ? Should I just...pretend like nothing much happened ? Like a simple "Hey, I missed you! How are you doing", should I apologize even though I didn't do anything to hurt her ? I have no idea if she is mad at me or just don't want to bother me, I am super lost and this is why I'm coming to these kind of websites now... I've been really lonely lately and I have no one to ask advice about such a peculiar situation. Thank you so much for reading this, I know it's probably long, and even if you don't know how to help me, I'm still glad you read me, it means a lot. Thank you. <3
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