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beelzebabe
1 75 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceMarch 13, 2021
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“I promise I won’t do it again”
Relationship Stress / by beelzebabe
Last post
 March 16th, 2021
...See more The title is the line he has used every time. Now I’m so far into this toxicity that I have lost myself. We got together when I was 16 and was married by 19. When he joined the military he had changed a lot. He had different mindsets and promised that I was all he needed to get through anything that anything he had done before that was a huge mistake. 4 days after we got married he was cheating again. I didn’t know until 6 months later and ever since then I have felt stuck. He has cheated 3 more times since then and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I have been looking into divorce but he begs to make things work. I love him but I need to learn to love myself. We have animals together that he definitely wouldn’t take care of properly and I have no way out with them. Should I give him time to show any improvement? Is it worth it? I told him that I can’t do it anymore unless he changes almost everything. Puts effort into us rather than himself and respects me more. I just don’t think he takes me seriously. He still day dreams about what it would be like to be with other people. I have such a strong resentment for him but at the same time love him and want to just move forward but I don’t know if he’ll actually put the effort into changing. I know he has to want to change but his actions tell me that he doesn’t give a fuck. My family is not much support, they just turn my misfortune into a running family joke all his mom had to say was “you knew the can was dented and you bought it anyway.” I have been in abusive relationships my whole life starting with my family / childhood. I thought if I worked hard enough and dealt with enough shit that I could make it work. Idk.
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