“I promise I won’t do it again”
The title is the line he has used every time. Now I’m so far into this toxicity that I have lost myself. We got together when I was 16 and was married by 19. When he joined the military he had changed a lot. He had different mindsets and promised that I was all he needed to get through anything that anything he had done before that was a huge mistake. 4 days after we got married he was cheating again. I didn’t know until 6 months later and ever since then I have felt stuck. He has cheated 3 more times since then and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I have been looking into divorce but he begs to make things work. I love him but I need to learn to love myself. We have animals together that he definitely wouldn’t take care of properly and I have no way out with them. Should I give him time to show any improvement? Is it worth it? I told him that I can’t do it anymore unless he changes almost everything. Puts effort into us rather than himself and respects me more. I just don’t think he takes me seriously. He still day dreams about what it would be like to be with other people. I have such a strong resentment for him but at the same time love him and want to just move forward but I don’t know if he’ll actually put the effort into changing. I know he has to want to change but his actions tell me that he doesn’t give a fuck. My family is not much support, they just turn my misfortune into a running family joke all his mom had to say was “you knew the can was dented and you bought it anyway.” I have been in abusive relationships my whole life starting with my family / childhood. I thought if I worked hard enough and dealt with enough shit that I could make it work. Idk.
@beelzebabe that's horrible people are sick now in days I swear its like they don't learn any lessons
You simply deserve a better treatment..
First of all, you sound very mature. Really. The way you write is telling me that you have a very sharp view on your relationship, even now you are in the midst of it, it seems like you know yourself well. This is something that can definitely help you moving forward through this situation. You said something important: "I need to learn to love myself." Yes, that's a beautiful way of thinking and realization. Go into that flow of self-love and see where it will bring you. Be active and at the same time observing. Decide what small steps you can take now and take care of yourself as best you can in the mean time. Take your own heart seriously. For example, every day you wake up, ask yourself, what small thing can I do to help myself forward and make decisions that will make me blossom in life? Sometimes just consciously taking care of yourself will help you find more strength in yourself and it will help you to stay sharp and clear-headed. At last, Don't fall for words, only actions. He really needs to step it up. That's my humble opinion. All the best to you.