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birdpersonnoooo
946 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts32 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2020 Member sinceOctober 29, 2015
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Feeling cynical about "self-kindness"
Depression Support / by birdpersonnoooo
Last post
 July 31st, 2020
...See more Like many people, I struggle with debilitating negative thinking. Even when I'm feeling in a somewhat good mood, I think about how unaccomplished, lazy, and unlikable I am. When I'm in a crisis I sometimes spend days thinking about everything wrong with me. I don't seem to be able to change and the thinking heavily intereferes with my life. Since I don't have a therapist, I'm trying to learn some CBT skills. I've gotten better aiming at the root of my thinking, but I still can't really get over my negativity. One of the suggestions I read and hear over and over is to be kind with yourself, give yourself praise, and try to love yourself. Maybe it's due to the environment I grew up in, but my brain doesn't really accept that. It feels delusional at best and vain at worst. Like, "if I truly deserve praise, other should have given it" or "noting my strengths will make me prideful and arrogant." I feel like there should be a middle ground between extremes, but I can't really notice where the line is. CBT is all about using reason and evidence to address negative thinking. But alot of the assertions cognitive therapists make about loving yourself also seem unreasonable in my head. Has anyone struggled with this?
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