blueDime4124 Member Profile

...See more i have loosely self-diagnosed myself as having OCD in the past. I have unwanted, taboo, and (i think) untrue thoughts that come up intruding in my current peace. First I started with some Health OCD where i would have a physical symptom and i would constantly seek reassurance and google it and get scared and then calm down and then next thing u know there's a trigger and im back at square one. Next I had a moment for my relationship where my thoughts wouldn't stop questioning everything. I'm in a happy and healthy relationship with someone I'm in love with but i get thoughts like "you are not in love with him", "you are making a mistake." and etc and it makes me so upset and guilty when im with them. The next one and current one im going through builds off of the relationship one where it's questioning if im gay or if i even like men, when i feel confident im bisexual, leaning more towards guys. I never even really thought i liked women all that much (never have had a crush on one and i have never been sexually attracted to one not in the media) but i have identified as bisexual for a while to keep myself open and not limited. But recently ive been overthinking myself when i think a female is pretty ane stuff. I know it's very okay to be bisexual and still be in love with a man but my head gets in loops about it connecting my old relationship ocd thoughts with this. im just not sure where it came from! it's scary thoughts because it makes me think i'm not okay when i know im okay and the reassurance comes and goes and i get in tight thought loops about it. i hope this makes anyone less alone. if there is ANY advice i would love to hear it.

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