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blueKitten5708
4,560 M Seeking Light 6
PathStep 467 Compassion hearts685 Forum posts184 Forum upvotes240 Current upvotes240 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 17, 2018
Bio

I’m 54, in New Zealand. I’m an artist working mostly in stone. I’m also a chef and a Mum. I joined when my relationship fell apart. I’m scared of ending up alone

Recent forum posts
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Being alone
50 & Over Community / by blueKitten5708
Last post
 May 22nd, 2021
...See more I’m in my mid 50 and I recently ended an abusive relationship. Now I have two fears; 1. That I’ll end up with another abusive partner. 2. That I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. Most of the time I’m pretty self reliant and I have old children who help out plenty but I like having a partner. I like having someone to go out with or to just laze around with, even chores are easier with a partner. Life is nicer shared (in my opinion). So how on earth do you meet people? Everyone just assumes you have a partner by my age.
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Stone carving
Arts & Crafts / by blueKitten5708
Last post
 March 1st, 2021
...See more I carve basalt and granite to create bowls, platters, handbasins, incense holders etc. I’d love to hear what others are creating in stone and what stone they’re using. (Link removed, FM Asherwolfice)
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Hurt and lost
Addiction Support / by blueKitten5708
Last post
 February 9th, 2021
...See more Hi, my partner has just ended our relationship and I’m feeling...raw, hurt, lonely, sad and guilty for feeling a little relieved. He’s 58 and has been a high functioning alcoholic for at least 30 years. Most of the time he’s pleasant company, intelligent, artistic and loving BUT...he has a flip side. I’d gotten to the stage where I could see the flip coming but still couldn’t help him to prevent it. He becomes agitated, a little picky and snippy then he goes into a full blown rage. The rage is verbal but gets very nasty. In that state I’m never good enough, I’m not affectionate/loving/sexual/grateful enough, I don’t know him or understand him and he’s adamant that I don’t love him as a person. In that state he’s left at least 5 times over the last 2 years. Yesterday he left again, this time while I was at work. He sent a message to say it’s over. I’m feeling hurt and rather lost but also a little relieved. I’m going to seriously miss him and the wonderful kind parts of our relationship but I won’t miss the dark patches. I feel dreadful because I love him, my adult children like him, my life will be changed and because I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. I don’t want to be this hurt again though either. How do you go on? Move forward and put yourself and your own mental health first?
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Finding happiness again
Relationship Stress / by blueKitten5708
Last post
 February 19th, 2018
...See more Im struggling with sadness, grief, shock and anger. Im trying hard to move forward but get stuck in the cycle and ruminating. For the past year I was the support person for my husband of 10 years after he made several suicide attempts and was placed in a psychiatric hospital. When he was released he worked hard to help himself; he saw a counsellor every week, took his meds and put some great healthy habits in place but a few months ago he gave it all up. He said the counselling didnt help and stopped taking his medication regularly, he then quit counselling completely and joined a mens group instead. Then he decided he couldnt get better living in our family home or with me. He simply came home one evening and told me he was leaving. He walked out on everything including all financial responsibilities. Im left trying to sort the property, child, animals and finances. I feel abandoned and stupid for not seeing it coming. How do I move on? How do I see happiness in the world again? Im emotionally exhausted. My best friend simply walked away. I know there are people worse off than me.
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