Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
blueZebra6289
2 63 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2025 Member sinceOctober 21, 2025
Bio
Recent forum posts
blueZebra6289 profile picture
Bad husband or over stressed or both?
Relationship Stress / by blueZebra6289
Last post
 October 22nd, 2025
...See more I’m sure we are all familiar with the cliche of before while dating there’s the promise that we will have sex all the time once we’re married. Well to make a few points before I bear my soul: 1. My wife and I have been married 3 1/4 years and I love her very much. 2. When we were dating I expressed that I love her for her not for her body or for sex, this is still very much true. 3. While we were dating I also expressed that I have a high sex drive and she accepted that. We had even talked about frequency and all of that. 4. I have never nor will I ever pressure her to have sex with me nor would I ever coerce her into having sex. With all that said, I’m here today because I feel like I’m a horrible person and husband. I feel horrible because I feel that what we talked about while dating was a lie because we are barely having any sex. And when we do have sex it feels like she wants to do it out of duty not because she wants to actually have sex. And that makes me feel worse because I don’t want to reject her and say no because that has hurt her feelings before. And when I say yes I feel icky because again it doesn’t feel like she wants to. I come to that conclusion because she’ll offer and say let’s do a quickie or you do all the work. Every time she offers and it doesn’t feel like she wants to I always offer an out by saying we don’t have to if you don’t want to or it’s ok if you’re tired. I’ve expressed to her before that I think physical touch is one of my love languages and that I have been feeling rejected lately. We spend the evening together and work mostly during the day and the time we spend together is watching tv. I’ve made suggestions of going out to do stuff together but that’s rejected. So am I a bad husband for wanting something more meaningful in bed or for feeling abandoned or rejected because of lack of intimacy? I don’t want to watch porn because it’s horrible and unethical and self pleasure just isn’t enjoyable otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this at 1:39 in the morning. 
Search more from @blueZebra6289
Talk to an expert therapist
Sarah Robb is an LICDC (Licensed Independent Chemical Dependency Counselor)....
Talk to Sarah Now
Badges & Awards
4 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out First Compassion
Report an issue