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bluembloom
104 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2021 Member sinceAugust 4, 2021
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Currently studying for a very important exam and feeling so anxious and lost and wanting to start my life all over again
Student Support / by bluembloom
Last post
 August 6th, 2021
...See more Hello, its my first time in this app and Ive been wanting to look for safe spaces to talk about uni anxiety and all that for a long long time now but never had the chance to properly look into it, so yay for this app. Im currently a graduate from uni and trying to study for board exams which will happen in the next few months should the pandemic not worsen and move it again. Ive been feeling this crushing need and feeling of lostness since the day I graduated because I feel like I dont deserve to have graduated (I feel like I should have stayed in uni because I know I know very little about the real world and the physical applications of my course) and if I could, i truly would have stayed for a few more semesters even if it means being delayed for graduation just to understand just what I want in life and if my course is even for me. Right now, its been almost a year since graduation and I spent that time seesawing back and forth into major depressive cycles and feeling of lostness while my batchmates got jobs, got their ish together and just - flourished. I really dont know where im going with this one, but yeah just, idk anymore sometimes. I wonder why the world made me graduate so fast when im ill fitted to be outside (and even for my undergraduate thesis, i feel like i was a burden to my partner then and still wonder how the heck did they make me pass). I feel like I shouldnt be here, I shouldnt have graduated, I should have stayed in school because there is so much more to learn but this pandemic robbed me of that learning space and time.
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