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brightCar2720
86 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2022 Member sinceAugust 3, 2022
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Frustrated with my relationship
Relationship Stress / by brightCar2720
Last post
 August 4th, 2022
...See more Pre warning this is long so read at your risk. My boyfriend pretty much gives me the silent treatment whenever he's upset. If he has a problem that's not even related towards me a lot of the time he'll be cold towards me and just say hes fine. If he's ranting and asking for help he won't be and it actually seems to make him feel better. A little while ago it was his birthday and one day I took him out for dinner and drinks which was good, the next day we went to a carnival we planned on going to and I spent a pile of money on him there also. Which I didn't mind because thats one of the ways I show my love. Overall we had a pretty good day. My friends and brother met up later and only my brother came and said happy birthday which I thought was rude my friends didn't. My boyfriend was leaving anyway to go see family though. Apparently it was not a good time and he was in a bad mood. He came over to my place later and he ranted for a bit and I was there for him. When he talks through his issues he seems happier usually. Then he ranted about my friends and I agreed with him that they were being rude. I honestly don't know why they didn't come up. Mainly my one buddy because he knows my boyfriend the most and seems to like him. Maybe just brain dead? But I have no idea and I agreed with my boyfriend it was rude. Anyway throughout that whole conversation his whole tone towards me was aggressive. He's done this over really small stuff to. Like if I don't feel like going to his gym because I have to pay, and I offer a cheaper alternative. He gave me the silent treatment for hours. We also have a very hard time communicating. It's my fault because I'm scared that I'll put him in a bad mood so I bottle everything up and it's his fault because he's immature and gets mad about conversations he shouldn't get mad over. Or he straight up won't even try to talk. It sucks because communication is the most important part and im close to walking out of this because of it. Even though I love him a lot. He also very rarely compliments me and I've asked him so many times, I've told him how it effects my self esteem and our sex life and he just doesn't seem to care. He used to try a little bit after I'd ask him but usually only while drunk. He says it's because he's not used to it but we've been In a relationship for 3 years so i feel like thats an excuse. I used to want to have sex all the time but now I don't even want it because I feel like he's not attracted to me and thinks I'm gross. But I get hit on in public almost all the time so I'm not ugly. I don't think I'm ugly either, but it sucks thinking my partner does. And yes I compliment him, I used to compliment him all the time because I couldnt help myself but now the desire is fading after the lack off affection i get. I don't know what to do anymore. We have pretty much the same beliefs in everything, and we are best friends. We travel together a lot and I have had some of the best times with him. I want to sit down and have a serious conversation with him but I just don't know how anymore. I write stuff down on what to say and then it just sounds angry and resentful, and I want to bring along this conversation calmly. If that doesn't work my only other option is to walk out of the relationship unfortunately.
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