Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched
brightMelon7817
423 M Embraced 3
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceApril 13, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
brightMelon7817 profile picture
I'm lost
Depression Support / by brightMelon7817
Last post
 April 20th, 2021
...See more We're supposed to say something, but I don't even know what community I belong in. I've never been to therapy or support groups cuz I always freak out beforehand. I'm pretty sure I qualify for PTSD. It would explain a few things. My mom died when I was 11 and every Mother's day I'm forced to watch her last breath happen over and over again. I'm angry all the time, I always think things are my fault, I don't do emotions very well, but when things are related to death, hospitals, or cancer I have a meltdown. I don't go to the doctors because I freak out before and after and need to take the whole day off work for it. I wish I didn't do that. I want to be like those people that talk strongly about their lost loved ones, but I just choke up and can't speak. Within a month after her death I met my father. He refused to let my mom's side of the family adopt me and took me on a 11 hour plane ride away from everything and everyone I ever knew. Come to find out, he's and abusive alcoholic so I moved in with my paternal grandparents. Then my grandmother started with dementia and thought I was another woman trying to steal her man. I don't think I had enough support as a kid. She passed away 19 years ago last week and I'm still not over it. I can't focus on anything. I started online therapy last week, but that was for my relationship issues. I don't know how any of this works. I just wanna think straight.
Search more from @brightMelon7817
Talk to an expert therapist
I'm getting really great feedback about my concerns and validation of my...
Reviewed Aug 21, 2026
Talk to Denise Now
Badges & Awards
10 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Honest Voice First Post Reaching out First Compassion Meet & Greet Teammate
Report an issue
Feel better with online therapy Professional, confidential and affordable. Start today
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched