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bubbleCherry4907
170 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 30, 2020
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pet grief ?
Depression Support / by bubbleCherry4907
Last post
 October 30th, 2022
...See more Recently I had my almost 1 year old cat get out down, It’s been days and every time I catch myself thinking of him i’m balling my eyes out. It sounds stupid writing it out but for awhile he was special to me. He just got me through a lot in such a little amount of time, he pulled me out of a dark place. i’m a sensitive person and little things like that just make my life easier to live through. I can’t help but blame myself because I was always out of the house or at school, we don’t have very much money so we weren’t really able to get him to the vet to get his vaccines or anything. He ended up having too much fluid in his lungs that made it hard for him to breathe, an infection of some sort. The surgery was too much, so we were left the only other option. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I miss seeing him everyday. everything is so empty and alone now. I want to rip my hair out and throw up it seems so unfair. I get made fun of for this though, but people don’t understand how much it hurts to watch something you love so much just die by your own hand. it’s a foul feeling. at least for my crybaby ***. I know it isn’t the most traumatic thing in the world, some would even laugh. but I can’t control how attached I get to things and how much feelings I feel. I just want to have happy memories. I look at one picture and my world crumbles apart. I don’t know how to feel better about it. It kills me everyday and I feel like i’ve tried everything.
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Maybe i’m just being dramatic ?
Depression Support / by bubbleCherry4907
Last post
 October 31st, 2022
...See more I don’t know exactly what I need help with but I know there isn’t something right with how I think. I’ve always found it hard to feel genuinely happy, of course there are those good moments that I look back on. I used to be able to show my affection and love much easier back then. I feel like as the years passed i’ve grown to be more and more cold. It’s hard to show love in relationships, I distance myself from my family, ghost my friends for weeks and come back like nothing happened. As a kid, I feel like it was easier to love and be happy because I didn’t realize the evil and pain around me. Now that’s im a little older (18) it’s all just falling on top of me and I hate how ugly everything is. I just wish there was more to everything, I want to do something that matters. I want something to feel like it matters. I’m currently in a relationship and I can see how it even affects him when im not able to give him the love and appreciation he deserves. I hate living like this. I’d rather not live at all then have to go through so many more years of my myself. My family and I now aren’t too close but I feel like we have mutual understandings. I love with my mom, my little sister, my brother and his son. Everyone’s working or gone. I put my sister on the bus in the morning and that’s about the only time I ever see any of them. It’s not their fault i’m definitely not saying that. It’s mine, I never leave my room. Even though we’re not as close as most families should be, my family keeps me going. I love them. I wouldn’t want to bring anymore pain onto my ma. i don’t know how much im supposed to write on here but whatever feedback helps. i’d really appreciate it if anyone is feeling the same to reach out, or if you’re just willing to help me. I don’t have any money, I can’t really afford official therapy. I just think I need someone to talk to.
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