Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
bubbleWalker833
1 161 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceDecember 31, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
bubbleWalker833 profile picture
Partner liking someone else / trust issues??
Relationship Stress / by bubbleWalker833
Last post
 January 2nd, 2022
...See more Hi everyone So it started off with my partner and his female coworker being friends. I work with them too so didn’t think much of it. But then later on my friend told me she saw my boyfriend on Snapchat, so I asked him “hey I saw you have snapchat now, when did you get it? I thought you hated it” and he said he got it because his female coworker asked if he had it, so he got it for her. Keep in mind he’s someone who hates social media and only really text messages people. It made me really uncomfortable and I expressed that but he brushed it over, and asked “what? would you rather me get her number instead?” so I just dropped it. Time goes on and he’s texting her heaps when we are together and I catch her sending him hearts and stuff too. That’s when I get real uncomfortable and ask what he’s doing because coworkers don’t message each other this much and with hearts either. And he said they were just talking about a show but I didn’t really trust it at this point. I end up making a few arguments with him because I felt so lost and alone because he just talked about her and to her, it was obvious to me that he was interested in her. And then he suddenly talked shit about her to reassure me, which didn’t really because to me it confirmed he liked her and is trying to convince himself. Later on he stops talking to her and a few weeks later he confesses that he did have a crush on her, and that he cut her off because he started to think about her sexually and did stuff to the thought of her.. which made me extremely uncomfortable and betrayed. Like a major part of my trust has been broken from that. Nowadays, they are in the same work area together so they’re talking a lot again but after everything that happened it makes me super uncomfortable that he’s wanting to talk to her a lot. So I tell him again it makes me uncomfortable that he’s being friendly with her again considering what happened in the past and he told me that he’s only talking to her as a coworker and it would be rude to be short with her or only have small talk. And then my sister (who also works with us) catches them walking alone in the car park together talking to each other - so he obviously still is ignoring my boundaries. And he said it’s because it would be rude of him to walk away with her, but when we walk together after work he always rushes off and leaves me behind which is what really got to me. It feels like he’s protecting her feelings and ignoring mine. This female coworker also used to flirt heaps with my friends boyfriend who worked with us when she knew he has a girlfriend. Which is why I don’t really trust her either? But my friends boyfriend did set boundaries with her and stopped talking to her. He also gets really mad and annoyed at me when I bring it up, but I can’t help but get anxious or obsess over her and the situation. Because it feels like I’m not being respected and my boundaries are being ignored. Meanwhile if a guy flirts with me or if I find another guy attractive I cut them off or just don’t talk to them at work or in texts. Because he feels uncomfortable with it. How do I stop obsessing over this and feeling anxious? We all work together so I can’t keep arguing with my boyfriend over this especially when he’s made it super clear that it’s not possible for him to cut her off and that he will keep being friendly with her. And I cant keep coming in and out of work feeling upset and anxious either. What do I do?
Search more from @bubbleWalker833
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
7 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat First Post Reaching out First Compassion Teammate
Report an issue