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calmLunch9427
3 10,186 M Pacing Forward 3
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts339 Forum posts92 Forum upvotes141 Current upvotes141 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceOctober 12, 2024
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Worried my friend might be lying
Friendship Support / by calmLunch9427
Last post
 August 28th
...See more I want to assume the best of him, I really do. I hope I'm just worrying about nothing But for background, my friend, T, we met in March, and he has another friend, G, who idk really know how to feel about, after all the things T told me about G. Me and G interacted well enough, aside from some small things, but I know T and G had arguments, along with a WHOLE argument they had that led to G threatening to sue T for assault despite T doing nothing to G. And even later, G used that as leverage for T to keep talking to him Okay, now that that's mentioned, the past two months, I've been asking T if he wants to hang out. Usually just "you available any time to hang out this week?" And then he'll say "depends on when I get paid" or "I'll get back to you" and then not get me back to me. I got anxious a few nights ago, and messaged him a lot, and unsent those messages, was pretty ashamed of myself for it But earlier today, I'd asked T if he could talk, and he responded quickly, saying that he's been busy with work (and I know this, he has been busy, his work gives him like 11 hour shifts, it's absurd, so I don't really fault him much for not getting back to me) and that he spends more time working then even being awake, so I said that I was sorry and that I'd got caught up in my head about it and taken it personally, it was my bad The part that makes me worry that he's lying, is that I had seen a post by G on social media about hanging out with T like yesterday, so it just makes me wonder if T hasn't been getting back to me about hanging out, but is hanging out with G instead Can I get some advice on maybe how I could broach the topic with T? Or at least convince me that maybe I'm overthinking?
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I did something dumb
Friendship Support / by calmLunch9427
Last post
 August 26th
...See more I met this friend in March, and I think the friendship has been decent, at least from my perspective, I don't know how things are from his I have ADHD, it was untreated for most of my life, but I started medication (atomoxetine) at beginning of July. This friend has autism too. I just figured these things are worth mentioning He's been pretty busy lately, with work stuff, and I guess distant because of it, and it really made me nervous. I'd asked him a few times in the last two months if he wanted to "hangout sometime this week" and he said yes, every time, but he never got back to me. It just made me anxious, feel like maybe he didn't actually wanna hang out But now more context specifically for the dumb thing I did. 5 days ago, I sent him a few messages asking to talk, about how maybe we should try and figure out a better way to organize hangouts, whenever he has the time to talk, and that there was no pressure, and then I left it there, silent for a few days, cause I didn't wanna overwhelm him or anything. A day or two later, I sent him something funny, with a message saying "I was gonna be silent for a bit, but this was funny, so I wanted you to see it" and he saw it, I messaged a few minutes after he saw it, saying I was just being silent cause I didn't wanna overwhelm him Now for the dumb thing. Last night, I was ruminating a lot. I've been really nervous, because I guess I was doubting the friendship, I mean, it's been 5 months, I hope it's acceptable to feel nervous about that. I sent him anxious messages multiple times over the span of a few hours, sending and unsending cause I just kept ruminating on it and I was just really anxious. Finally, I stopped, with a message apologizing for sending a bunch of messages and unsending them, and telling him I had just been feeling outta wack, cause of rejection sensitive dysphoria, and that I hope he can understand I worry I've messed things up, but around when we first started talking, I felt really nervous, and asked if he'd tell me if I was too much, and he said "I will" and to not worry because he's "like a dog, it's hard to push me away". I don't know, it's been 12 hours since is ent the apology, I haven't heard back from him, I just hope I haven't messed it all up
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I hate my rejection sensitive dysphoria
ADHD Support / by calmLunch9427
Last post
 August 11th
...See more I made a post in the last week about struggling with rejection sensitive dysphoria and I'm just having a lotta difficulty My friend's been really busy lately, so hasn't been responding as much as usual, and I just can't stop feeling anxious about it, I'm afraid I'm gonna do something impulsive and stupid and ruin things
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Friendship advice (my friend has autism, not me)
Autism Support / by calmLunch9427
Last post
 August 16th
...See more So I went this guy back in March who's autistic (he's a trans man, if that's relevant, idk, he's cool tho) and idk, I just kinda wonder what little things I could do maybe. Also, I have ADHD, like mostly untreated aside from some meds as a kid and some meds I've been taking since the beginning of last month We usually message each other, but I do feel sometimes as if I'm the one initiating things (tho, he does invite me to stuff sometimes) but I usually send a lotta stuff, and he's expressed no qualms about it in the time we've known each other so far. I'd seen something about being a good friend, and one of the things was if something reminds you of someone, send it to them, so I do that Sometimes he does take a while to respond, but he's pretty busy with work, plus he's married and lives with his husband and twin brother, so it's not a big deal. I'd also seen stuff about autistic people sometimes forgetting, or not knowing how to respond to messages. He's also mentions having really bad rejection sensitive dysphoria, which I relate to Idk, I just wanna be a good friend to this dude. He's cool, and I like being friends with him, what could I do to be a good friend? Should I just ask him myself?
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Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in friendships
ADHD Support / by calmLunch9427
Last post
 August 1st
...See more I was diagnosed with ADHD at 5, 21 now, but I was unmedicated for most of that time. Only really medicated for a few years after my initial diagnosis, on Vyvanse, and now for a month, on Atomoxetine. I say this cause I figure it's relevant stuff to what I'm talking about I'm just wondering if it's a common experience for other people with ADHD, especially the RSD part of it, to feel nervous about friendships? Or like, when a friend doesn't respond for a bit, or doesn't see your messages, or even leaves you on seen, is it "normal" to get nervous about that? Taking Atomoxetine does help a bit with me not acting on those nervous thoughts, because I've been a lot less impulsive, thankfully, but I still struggle with the little bits of anxiety about things. It makes my brain think my friends don't like me, or I'm annoying them, but I know they're just busy with work or other things, and that I'm completely fine, still, the anxiety is there. Is this a common experience for us all?
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Atomoxetine stuff
ADHD Support / by calmLunch9427
Last post
 July 26th
...See more So I had started taking atomoxetine for my ADHD (diagnosed at like 5, 21 now) at the start of the month, taken when I wake up, and I'm noticing it causing me some issues. Like, at first, I felt less anxious, but a little bit more tired than usual. Now I'm struggling with insomnia, a little bit of anxiety, and ED and lowered libido (I hope that's not weird to discuss) My next med check isn't for a while, i could reschedule a sooner one, I probably will, and talk about it, but I just don't know, I've seen other mixed opinions, like that I should absolutely tell my doctor/med provider and others saying I should wait for the medication to set in properly I really hope this kinda stuff isn't weird to discuss, I'm just worried about it. I also don't wanna talk about that kinda stuff with my doctor/med provider, even if I know it's like their job to do that stuff
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Worried about CPS stuff
Anxiety Support / by calmLunch9427
Last post
 July 10th
...See more I don't even know if this counts as anxiety specifically, but I feel like a wreck right now I'd gotten into therapy like two months ago, it's going alright, it honestly doesn't feel like I'm making any progress, but I had ranted to my therapist about how the house wasn't clean and that it was really bad, and since he's a mandated reporter, he reported us to CPS I live with my mom and little sister, my mom isn't neglectful or anything, she tries her best, she's just easily overwhelmed and we all struggle with a lotta things that hamper our motivation to get things done They're coming tomorrow and we still have so much to clean and I'm worried that I'm gonna get my little sister taken away or my mom in trouble and I feel like it's all my fault and I wished I'd never said anything at all about it in the first place
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Boredom
ADHD Support / by calmLunch9427
Last post
 June 16th
...See more So we had a storm recently, and a tree fell on a power line, and our house needed to have the power turned off. It's been off for more than a day, and I feel like I'm going insane
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